Alex In Africa - Pt. 4

Today we are going to travel about 3 hours to the Parra Safari Lodge. We woke up and had breakfast with the nuns as usual and then we waiting outside for Geoffrey to pick us up. As we were out there, one of the ground keepers was doing some plant maintenance and a chameleon jumped out of the plant. Here's that little guy!

We took a small adventure around the compound again, and we found this beautiful tree. 

As we started our journey Geoffrey took the familiar path to get to our destination but we soon discovered that the center of Gulu was doing roadwork on a small section of the road without giving notice so we had to turn around and find another route. Luckily Geoffrey knew his way around and it wasn't much of a hassle, with the exception of lost time. Time is an interesting thing in Africa, as they use it very loosely. In America, 9:30am means 9:30am, and unless you're early you're considered late. In Africa, 9:30am could mean 9:15am or even 9:45am, it just depends on when you feel like it. Adjusting to this mindset is no easy task. As we traveled, I can count approximately 5 times when we didn't see somebody walking on the road. Everyone here walks, some people drive poda poda, and very few people actually have cars or trucks. Driving is a very risky thing, but not in the sense of safety. During the Ugandan rainy season it rains heavily for approximately 1 hour almost every day. So depending on when you're traveling, you could have drove miles only to discover that the road is flooded. Very few roads here in Northern Uganda are paved, so the red mud becomes a very sticky clay. As you drive, it is very common for the children to get excited to wave, smile, and yell hello to you. The towns are overgrown with large blades of grass and other weeds, and the building are all very run down. If a building is lucky enough to have been painted, they are more often than not very chipped and faded.  Some of the larger buildings have giant walls surrounding them, and on top of the walls can be razor blades, broken glass, and coiled barbed wire to keep intruders out.

 Most of the roads are done by Chinese workers, and they all live in a compound with their equipment, like the one pictured below.

Everyone here lives in some sort of hut, some circular and some square. Occasionally as we would drive, we would see a beautifully built building, like the Catholic Church pictured here.

You would know when a water well would be coming up on the road because you would see people, mostly children, carrying their yellow water cans. Some wells have more than 20 people lined up waiting to be used. I find the livestock here very interesting. Some are tied up, but most just roam free. Pictured here is an open field with some cows grazing.

We are headed to Parra Safari so I'll update later tonight!!

Small hut village 

Children playing

Small village market 

Alex In Africa - Pt. 3

We made it to Gulu where we will be staying for the next week which is home to the Saint Monica's Girls School. I recommend you reading the book Sewing Hope or watching the documentary on Netflix to give you some more insight on where we are. The school is ran by nuns and it is absolutely wonderful. Below are various videos of our home!

Banana Village- The huts here are made up of recycled water bottles. 

Looking around St. Monica's

While this small compound is absolutely beautiful, other parts of Gulu aren't quite the same. We took a small journey with one of the Sisters to exchange our U.S. Dollars for some shillings. We went through the marketplace and it was awful. Small shops lined up selling anything and everything. Almost every shop had flies. My favorite shop was the one that was plucking the feather off of a chicken. Yeah, imagine the flies there. Outside of the marketplace the shops aren't too different. Every building had it's usual advertisement while every building promotes their "cheap and quality" goods. We went to one bank, which refused service so we had to travel about 1/2 mile to another. $20 bills are considered small bills, so while I paid $60 U.S. Dollars I got less shillings than some of my fellow travelers who paid with a $50 bill. 

Back at St. Monica's, the nuns do not want us working because we should be tired from all of our travels. I made friends with a compound worker there names Fiona, and I convinced her to take a break and eat one of my snacks and I would finish weeding banana village. She was very kind and loved the snacks that I gave her. Here is a picture of us.

One of the most amazing things that happen here is everyone inside the compound, and even some people outside of it well greet you each and every time with "you are welcome." Not to be confused with the American saying used after a "thank you," but they are meaning it quite literally saying you are welcome here. 

Our meals vary by type, but they are always at 8am, 1pm, and 7:30pm. Today we had the meal below.

Although it doesn't look like much, people around Uganda would do so much for this meal. It really allows you to put things into perspective.  So for this post, I leave you this message. Be thankful for what you have, work for what you want, and just know that somewhere there's someone rooting for you.

Alex In Africa - Pt. 2

Driving through Kampala was one of the most interesting things I've done. There are few rules of the road, and even when there are rules they are rarely followed. We were taking pictures of the scenery around us and our driver Geoffrey said "take care of your phone." Nobody was entirely sure what he meant, but as we kept driving forward he said that people will reach in and take advantage and steal things if they saw it. Everyone decided the "photo shoot" was over and we started living in the moment. Motorbikes, or known as  "poda poda" here in Uganda, weave in and out of traffic honking their horns. The motorbikes carry anything and everything, including four people at a time or a goat. Here is a time-lapse of 5 minutes in traffic.

One of my fellow travelers, Paul, posed the question "how are there not any accidents around here?" I'm not sure if Geoffrey was responding to the question or if he legitimately didn't mean to, but he bumped into one of the motorbikes and kept moving forward.  Almost every store is a speciality store, and almost every item has a store. Playground toys, furniture, food, caskets, all of which have stores. It's so strange coming from a place where even though I'm "different" I still fall into the majority, where as here I stick out like a sore thumb. Speaking of thumbs, rules and regulations of voting are painted all over the city. One of the most interesting bits about voting in Uganda is that voting twice is illegal, and the way they monitor this is by painting a line on your thumb cuticle to show that you've voted already. 

Geoffrey tells us there is an election within the upcoming year, so they are heavily promoting this across the city. The further we drove, the more the city looked like what you see in a commercial with "the arms of an angel" playing in the background. Children played in trash piles, cattle eat the same trash piles, and nobody seemed to care. One of my favorite things to watch is the fashion. Dresses and shirts of brightly covered fabric and exotic patterns stand out against the dull mud-red roads and terrain. Silks aren't too common, but they look amazing with the sun shining down on them. 

We continued traveling down this unfamiliar road when Geoffrey took an unexpected stop. He got out of the car, and the car was the approached by 7-10 people, each attempting to sell something different. Geoffrey bought us pineapples and asked if we wanted to try to miniature fried bananas. There was no peel, but the outside was still hardened as if a peel were still there. Once you get through the chewy exterior, the banana itself was tender and sweet. 

Geoffrey then bought us all water and we continued onward. We stopped at what seemed to be the most American thing in Uganda, a small restaurant that played country music, served burgers and fries, and made you pass through a metal detector to enter. I opted to eat a grilled chicken sandwich and once we finished our meal we began our journey again. Geoffrey told us that we were at the halfway point and sister Rosemary told us before we left we would know that we were in north Uganda when we saw straw rooftops. She told us how poor the government treated north Uganda in comparison to south Uganda, and her testimony stood to be true. As if we were suddenly on some Oklahoma backroad, the paved streets turned into gravel covered roads and the brick houses turned into straw covered shacks. Within minutes of being on the dirt road, we found ourselves sitting for a good while at a construction site. They would not let us pass because the road was being worked on and only one "lane" was open. At this stop, Geoffrey bought what Americans would call roasted corn. If you put roasted corn and popcorn on a scale with each item representing the opposite end, you would have what we ate. Finally we got to proceed only to find another wait down the road. Instead of waiting at the border line so oncoming traffic could come, several cars blocked the way and the construction workers refused to move the barricades. The workers told Geoffrey to proceed, and if the cars didn't move it was their problem, so Geoffrey did. The road turned back to pavement, but it was different this time. The pavement was full of pot holes, while only half of the road was paved at most. Anytime an oncoming vehicle was headed our way, either they would pull off the road or we would. It was really like a game of chicken, and if the sun wasn't enough to make us sweat, this not-so-fun game would be just the trick. One of the most remarkable things about traveling through these small "centers" (towns) is that everyone still smiles and waves at us and is just happy to be there.later on down the road, we came across a truck with something similar to a cage on back. Inside the cage seemed to be about 20-30 children, who were, as we discovered, going to school.

Throughout every center, both large and small, buildings would have advertisements for various things on top of them. These things ranged from Ugandan products and services to well-known American things like Pepsi or Mountain Dew. I asked Geoffrey why it was there, and he told us that businesses will paint the interior and exterior of houses if the house owner allows the business to paint their advertisement on top of the building. He described it as "one service for another."

 Children packed on a truck going to a soccer camp

Crossing the Nile 

A small but hidden in some bushes and trees

Momma and baby baboon hanging out on the side of the road

Alex In Africa - Pt. 1

What seems like an eternity later we finally landed in Africa. We were greeted in the airport with hand sanitizer and face masks....after filling out a few forms we were corralled like cattle from one check point to the next; application turn in, temperature check, fingerprint scanning, payment. The airport was a fraction of most American airports with what also seemed like a fraction of security. Instead of having fans or an A/C, they left all the exterior doors open, even the ones that directly lead to planes. I'm not sure what would happen if someone walked out the doors, and I'm not sure I want to find out. After having all of our luggage checked, we started to exit the airport at which time we were met by the biggest smiling face I've ever seen; Sister Rosemary. 

She greeted each of us personally and thanked us so much for coming and then we all continued outside of the airport. We made it to the car where Geoffrey was waiting. We loaded up all of the luggage and started our journey to what we would call home for the night. Sister Rosemary stopped prior to picking us up and purchased small triangular pies that were filled with beef, cabbage, and onion. After all the airport food I had consumed, it was delicious. As we were driving with the windows open you could hear so many noises foreign to my American ears. Critters, animals, frogs, all of which were singing an unfamiliar song. As we traveled down the road, I couldn't help but notice two things; the drivers are fucking insane and there are no road signs or street lights. I was so overwhelmed by the sights and smells and was just taking it all in. The town surprised me with all of their flashing lights and bars, a nightlife that I honestly didn't expect would be every few feet. I was amused to hear a familiar song playing at a dance club, although Sister Rosemary did not seem to appreciate the ruckus. Coming from a small town in Oklahoma, when someone flashes their lights at you, or head lamps as Sister Rosemary would call them, it means that either you are doing something wrong or their could be trouble ahead. To my surprise, every car flashed their lights at us. After a few minutes, curiosity and fear got the better half of me and I asked  what the signal meant. "It is a rule of Ugandan travel. Everyone flashes their headlamps to show the oncoming vehicle where they are on the road" Sister Rosemary explained. *internal sigh of relief* She told Geoffrey that we needed drinks, so we pulled into a gas station and she invited us in. This gas station was truly a one stop shop, food, drinks, alcohol, just like America. I decided to go with one of sister Rosemary's favorite, "Stoney." It's the equivalent of American ginger ale, something the airplane frequently ran out of. As we drove through the city, it vaguely reminded me of the hunger games. You know, that part where Katniss buys, sells, and trades stuff through a black market? Imagine that, but for miles. Many booths and many people, all bartering and selling their goods. We were told that we were going to be staying the night at a convent in Kampala which sat right behind the American embassy and was heavily secured. I was about to be living my own version of a crossover between the Lion King and The Sound of Music. 

Upon arriving at the convent, it was surrounded by large walls with razor blades and electric fencing at the top. There was only one way in, which was through a locked gate that was guarded by a man with a rifle. Luckily for us, he had fallen asleep on the job so it took a few minutes to enter. By the time we entered shortly after midnight, everyone was so sleepy we immediately went to our rooms and crawled underneath our mosquito net and sheets and went to sleep.

 I awoke to yet again another set of unfamiliar noises, which was around 5:30am. There were people yelling outside and there were so many animal noises. I was uncertain what the yelling was about, but my heart was content with whatever was happening. I later discovered that the yelling was just people playing in a field beside the convent. I laid in bed with so much energy, ready to see what this adventure would bring. I heard something that would bring such a peace and serenity to me; the sound of the local nuns singing. It was such a wonderful, peaceful, relaxing sound, but it also meant that it was time to wake up and see what the journey of today would be.  I went out onto the balcony to see the sights and hear the beautiful music, at which time the smell of sweet African rain came and it began to come down. We were invited by the sisters to join them for breakfast, where they served their usual coffee and tea with peanut butter and jam for bread, but because we were guests to the convent they prepared us omelettes.    I didn't know much about the Itinerary for the day, but I did know it included a 6 hour drive to our next home.

On the balcony of the convent overlooking Kampala.

Selfie on the balcony.

The room at the convent.

All of us with Sister Rosemary

7 Reasons You Should Take Your Child To See 'Cinderella'

An article popped up on my news feed a few times today and after seeing it for a third time, I decided I should check it out. It was titled "7 Reasons I Can't Take My Daughter To See 'Cinderella'" Did I use that punctuation correctly? Being a huge Disney fan, I felt that this article was a bit much, but regardless of how I felt I still respect this mom for raising her princess-loving daughter how she wants to. Really that's how parenting should work (most of the time) but I actually went and watched the movie a few hours after reading the article and want to share some things (don't worry, I won't post anything you don't already know about the plot of the Disney classic) that I realized while watching the film and with this article in the back of my mind.

1. Dead Parents - While I don't think a child should have to sit and watch people die to understand that it happens, I do think it's a very important conversation parents can have with their children. The movie does not portray the death of Cinderella's parents as something that it is not, and it doesn't draw out the scenes so that it makes you uncomfortable. It shows that death is a real thing that can happen unexpectedly to anyone. So why do I think that this conversation should be had at some point? Please see two sentences before this one. Death is real and your child will encounter it at some point. Rather than shielding or keeping your child in the dark about it, have the conversation now so that hopefully if and when it happens, they can know that things will be okay. I lost many pets growing up, but I didn't truly understand the significance of death until my father died when I was 7. My parents had not told me about death, so when one day I came home to a house full of mourning family members and no dad, it was a little confusing. I am not saying to run and grab your kids out of bed to tell them how death works, but be the parent that you are and know when they (and you) are ready for this conversation and then have it. I would actually recommend having this conversation after watching the new (ironic, eh?) Cinderella. Show your child that even when something unexpected happens, you can continue moving forward. Oftentimes, and in Cinderella's case, you can take something negative and unfortunate and transform it to use it to be the best person you can be. I think that we often find strength in tragedy, but even if we don't know what to do next, that is perfectly fine. We are okay right this very second, and when you think about it, that's all we really need to be.

2. Mean Girls Behavior -  While it is unfortunate that Cinderella faces so much bullying from her step-siblings, I don't think this is a reason to not let your child see the movie. Throughout the movie Cinderella is constantly being treated like she is less than the others in the household simply because they can get away with treating her that way. This can be multiple conversations to have with your child, ranging from being nice to everyone you meet to what to do if you are being bullied. Bullying is a huge issue throughout the world and it's not something we only see in movies. Your child might not ever be bullied, but they will probably have the opportunity to show someone else kindness and compassion when they are the victim of someone else. Teach them what to do and who to talk to. Let them know just how strong they can be if the words of others try to cut us. We have so many opportunities in life to make others feel emotion, both good and bad. I try with my everyday encounters to give others something to smile about, be it because of a compliment, buying their coffee, or just being silly so it gives them a perfect reason to smile. Foster happiness and kindness in your children so that others don't see them like the step-siblings in the movie. Let's all try to be the Cinderella of our lives. (Please go see the movie. There's more to her than a happily ever after.)

3. Step-Families Get a Bad Rap - In this movie Cinderella's step-family is far from nice. They treat her like the dirt beneath their feet and there is nothing Cinderella can do to stop that. So how can you make this a conversation for your child if they don't have any step-siblings? Let your child know that while they have a brother, there is someone with a step-brother. Let them know that they have a mom and dad but there is someone with only one dad because their mom died. Let them know that while they only have one dad someone else has two. Let them know that while everyone in their family is white, some families have white and black members. Let them know the beauty in diversity and show them that it is so perfectly normal to have a family of any type, size, or color.

4. The Passive Princess - While it is very clear that modern princesses possess a lot more of an independent woman approach, I think Cinderella teaches us something that these modern princesses cannot; content. I know it's a little strange to hear (trust me, it's strange to say,) but this is something I noticed I could easily be working on. While there is a lot to gain from being independent and doing the damn thing yourself, there is also a lot to gain from living your life with contentment. I found Cinderella throughout the entire movie being happy with what was in front of her. Live in the attic? Okay. It has great floors. Go to the ball but leave before midnight? Okay. I only wanted to go for five minutes. Cinderella has a very unique way of looking at life, and it is something I am working towards adopting for my own life. We will always want more for ourselves and for others, but seldom do we stop wanting and start appreciating all that we have at this exact moment. While it does appear that Cinderella is just waiting to be rescued by someone else, I think it has more to do with her being okay with just being okay. There are those who seek new and exciting things for themselves, and there are those who are okay with just being okay and both options are perfectly fine. (I would encourage you to not be just okay for too long, push yourself to learn and to grow, but do so at your own pace.)

5. Unrealistic Body Image - I did notice Lily James' waist a few times in the movie, but I noticed her heart and positive attitude a lot more. In a perfect world we would have a princess of every shape, color, and size and children would have so many to look up to and know that they are beautiful. This might come to you as a surprise but we don't. So what can we do to help our children out? My first suggestion would not be hide them from tiny waists because that is a backhanded way of saying "don't be too skinny." I think we should be teaching our children that bodies are weird and there are days where we like them and days where we don't, but regardless of how we feel we should strive to be healthy and appreciate all body types. The prince doesn't fall in love with Cinderella because of her tiny waist, he falls in love with her for her huge heart.

6. It Might Be Too Grown-up -I think that movie has just the perfect balance of real-life scenarios and cartoon-like situations. Yes the step-siblings are way bitchier in this movie compared to the classic, but I think that it's important for your child to know that people outside of the movie can say and do worse. A lesson I learned a few years back that I wish I knew all along is this; we will never be able to control the situation, but we will be able to control how we react to it. I know this is a little off from the actual category itself, but the only way I can prove to you that it's not "too grown up" is to just let you watch it yourself. You know your child better than I or anyone else. If you don't think they would enjoy the movie, don't take them. I only ask that you make your decision based on what you know, not what you think will happen in the movie or what characters might be left out.


7. Love at First Sight is Not the Only Kind -With the original article, I must say that I agree with this. I think that it's important to show emphasis that everyone's journey is different and we should respect that, not sit on the sidelines and criticize. I think it's important to show your child finding a significant other is not everyone's cup of tea. Look at Elsa, she doesn't have a single prospect and she's perfectly fine with that. Love comes when we often least expect it, so when it does happen you should enjoy it.

Okay. If you didn't go look at the other article I've been referencing, you might not have known that the numbered items were actually all from the original post. Spoiler alert; they were. My intentions for this was not to criticize how one woman is choosing to view the movie or raise her child, but to show that you can take a "negative" and help turn it into a positive. I also feel that the movie was beautifully executed, and whether you're 7 or 72 you can find something to appreciate about it, and more importantly something to learn. Which leads me to a surprise eighth reason why you should take your child to see 'Cinderella.'

8. Have Courage and Be Kind - This is Cinderella's motto throughout the entire movie and she so perfectly reminded us in both large and small ways. One of the most influential parts of the movie (and the part that made me cry) is towards the very end when the prince finally has found the foot to match the glass slipper. The prince and Cinderella express their love and acceptance of each other and are about to leave Cinderella's current life behind, but as she's walking out of the door she stops to let her step-mother (who has treated her like a caged animal) one thing; Cinderella forgives her. I've been promoting forgiveness on social media these last few days and this moment in the movie made me realize there was so much more I could be doing for forgiveness. I think this is a lesson many children miss out on because we are too focused on teaching them other important things. I encourage you all to watch the movie and work towards forgiving yourself and others more frequently. Watch the movie and have these conversations when you and your child are ready. Watch the movie and enjoy the beauty that it holds. Watch the movie and remember one thing;

I love you all beyond measure.

Feminism Rerailed

It was recently brought to my attention that someone published an editorial in my campus newspaper titled "Feminism Derailed" (page 11 for your curious minds) where the author discusses the backlash British physicist Matt Taylor received for wearing this shirt.

If you can't tell, it shows various blonde women wearing almost nothing in different poses. Whenever I first read the article, I found myself rolling my eyes again and again because of the ignorant, uneducated, and sometimes offensive things this author had written. After much internal debate I decided I was going to write a letter to the editor. I sat down at my desk fingers ablaze ready to completely tear this article apart when I realized I didn't know where to even begin on writing a letter to the editor. After a few Google searches, I knew all of the basics and I began. One thing I noticed is that a letter to the editor should be clear, concise, and under 300 words...my first draft was a few words short of 800.

Dammit.

So I began cutting, pasting, rewording, and omitting. Next thing I know, I was tearing my own article apart. I realized that if I wanted myself to sound educated, knowledgeable, and slightly snarky well-written, there was no way I was getting below 300 words. I settled on 450 words and was ready to submit. Sadly, the paper has already been finalized and my submission will not be published so I am sharing it with you all.

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Dear Editor,

I would like to address an article that was recently published in the Vista regarding feminism. The author expressed confusion regarding the opposition and offense taken by a group of "feminists" when a male scientist wore a shirt with females drawn in little clothing and promiscuous poses. The author was also sure to include some of his personal views on feminism as a whole. As a feminist myself, I would like to take this as an opportunity to share some information regarding feminism and discuss a few of the author’s theories written in the article.  The term “feminism” is commonly misunderstood and misinterpreted as women bashing men and wanting men to feel the same oppression that many women have felt and are still feeling. Anyone who claims or believes that this is feminism is unfortunately ignorant to the topic, as feminism is fighting for equal rights for all genders. At one point in the article the author suggests that if the tables were turned and it was a female scientist who made the discovery instead of a male and “wore a revealing outfit”, would the same backlash happen to her as it did to Taylor? The answer is no. The author is comparing apples to oranges. In one case, we have one gender wearing something that objectifies another gender. In the other case, we have one gender wearing something they are comfortable in and in no way objectifies anyone else. Additionally, that is not the culture of our society. It would be considered very wrong and very inappropriate if a female wore a shirt with men wearing so little. I felt that your author thought that because this man has does something notable, he should be pardoned for what is considered wrong. The change of culture does not and will not happen overnight. By looking at “small” issues and changing the way we view things is considered progression, something we desperately need even in 2014 (I think the author made this very apparent). In closing, I agree with only one thing the author has written. He says that there are bigger things feminists could be fighting for, and believe me when I say we are. I was member of a team that organized and dedicated an entire week to gender inequalities outside of pay wage of reproductive issues here at UCO. I would love to sit down with you and/or the author and discuss why this shirt is an issue, “bigger” fights for gender equality, and how we as individuals can stand together and fight for equality for all genders as true feminists would.

Thank you for your time,

Alex Baker, Senior at the University of Central Oklahoma

Ultimately I am so glad I did it. I was able to relieve some of the stress and frustration I had acquired by reading the article in the first place. I hope that this will cause a conversation or two to happen and that slowly the change will come. Until then, keep fighting the good fight and remember to always use your voice.

Drowning

I know the thoughts that cloud your brain like a sweet summer rain, it’s a downpour of negativity and self doubt. Each drop that rolls off of your skin is another thought that you shouldn't be having. Each drop that caresses your face is another set of staring eyes looking in your direction. Each drop that dampens your shirt is another whisper made about you and before you know it you’re soaked. You're drowning in the same puddle that just got your socks wet. You’re gasping for air as more and more people tell you "it’s going to be okay," but that’s not what you need to hear. It's not what you need to hear especially when those same people criticize your every move and treat you like you're the reason their umbrella is defective. You’re gasping for air as the water fills your lungs and you just want to give up but you hold on to the thought that someone might miss you, that someday someone might kiss you. You’re gasping for the oxygen needed to keep yourself alive, and you're grasping at the thought that you're wanted and that you're normal. You're trying so hard to stay afloat in this lake of insecurity, but you're sinking. Now you're completely submerged under this ocean of uncertainty. You look around you and you see what you've seen all along; emptiness.

They say that drowning is supposed to be pretty peaceful, but I'm going to let you in on a little secret... Drowning  in this world of judgement and hate is one of the most painful fucking things I've ever endured.