I know the thoughts that cloud your brain like a sweet summer rain, it’s a downpour of negativity and self doubt. Each drop that rolls off of your skin is another thought that you shouldn't be having. Each drop that caresses your face is another set of staring eyes looking in your direction. Each drop that dampens your shirt is another whisper made about you and before you know it you’re soaked. You're drowning in the same puddle that just got your socks wet. You’re gasping for air as more and more people tell you "it’s going to be okay," but that’s not what you need to hear. It's not what you need to hear especially when those same people criticize your every move and treat you like you're the reason their umbrella is defective. You’re gasping for air as the water fills your lungs and you just want to give up but you hold on to the thought that someone might miss you, that someday someone might kiss you. You’re gasping for the oxygen needed to keep yourself alive, and you're grasping at the thought that you're wanted and that you're normal. You're trying so hard to stay afloat in this lake of insecurity, but you're sinking. Now you're completely submerged under this ocean of uncertainty. You look around you and you see what you've seen all along; emptiness.
They say that drowning is supposed to be pretty peaceful, but I'm going to let you in on a little secret... Drowning in this world of judgement and hate is one of the most painful fucking things I've ever endured.
