I am writing you this letter in regards to something you have done to me recently. I would very much like to write this to one person in particular, but I cannot do that as that person remains cowardly and anonymous.
I think I want to start this letter by asking: what did you hope to accomplish by doing what you did? Did you think it would scare me? Make me rethink my clothing choices? You definitely did not accomplish that. At all. It has however made me think long and hard about the world we live in.
I would be naive to think that I could wear heels all day without getting backlash from somebody. A classmate of mine posted on her Facebook wall "Just saw a guy on campus wearing high heels. Ummm....okay? Whatever floats your boat I guess haha" Did this upset me? Nah. I knew things like this was going to happen at some point or another. What I didn't expect was what you did.
When I came home from celebrating my 22nd birthday, I came home to find the piece of hatred you left for me. I will start with the first word. You wrote the word "fag" on my bulletin board. It is my job each month to create a new bulletin board. It should be something helpful to the residents in the building as well as be eye catching so that I can help them in some way with the information that's on there. My bulletin board this month revolves around leadership. I am taking the opportunity that you've given me and I will use it to teach something any leader should know.
Acceptance.
Do you know where the word "faggot" comes from? Someone who I consider an amazing human being, friend, and teacher told me, and I will take this opportunity to enlighten you. The word "faggot" dates back to the witch hunts in European history. People accused of being witches weren't the only people that were burned. Men accused of participating in homosexual acts were drenched in flammable liquids to start the fires for the witches at stake. This letter isn't about a history lesson though, so I will end that part.
It's been a full 24 hours now since I came home to find the hate speech you have written on my board, and I'm more passionate about it than ever. I want you to know something, you can write on my board, whatever you want, anytime you want. The good, the bad, and anything in between. The initial shock factor might get to me, but that's all you'll get. I've been called every name imaginable, so you're not being innovative with whatever it is you decide to say. Someone might ask the question: if I wasn't upset by what you have done, then why am I taking the time out of my day to write this?
I am writing this for anyone that needs to hear it. You have deeply impacted me in a way that I never knew existed. I cried today. I cried a lot actually. But not for me. Here is why I cried...
What if there was someone in this building that was struggling with their sexuality and had started building the courage to finally come out? They then see what you've written and are scared back into not coming out. What if there's someone in this building that has a roommate that is anything but what they consider ideal? You're giving them the thought that it is okay to say hurtful things, and it's simply not.
It is not okay.
You also decided to write "heels are for girls." I can agree with this to some level. Heels were probably meant for females to wear. However, where does it say that heels can't be worn by men? Through gender stereotyping we have made it the norm for females to wear them, but please tell me why men can't?
I'm struggling to comprehend why you would do something like this. Your ignorance has proven to me that there is most definitely still a battle. There is something that I must stand my ground on, heels or not, and fight for what I believe in. I commend you for standing up for what you believe i,, but please, if you're going to do it, HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT TO MY FACE. I would applaud you actually if you decided to do this. Until then, I have to pity you. The difference between you and I is that when I set out my size 11 high heels to wear the next day, I knew that I would be fighting for what I believe in and not be scared of who knew it. You on the other hand, hid behind a marker. When it comes down to it, I would say that at this given instance I am more of a man than you'll ever be because I am not hiding.
Through such a hateful act that was meant to tear me down, you have only built me up. I have told a few people the situation and every single person that I told was infuriated that such ignorance and cowardice can walk around an spill hate from their mouth. I have had more support with this situation than you'll ever receive for your hate. Whether you choose to believe it or not, things are changing in society. One day YOU will be the minority and I will still be standing proud and tall, in my heels of course. Don't worry, I'll accept you then just as I accept you now. I know that hate and ignorance doesn't come naturally. My boss used the perfect example for someone in your situation. You can't expect someone to do a calculus problem if they haven't taken calculus yet. Just as I can't expect you to accept me and be tolerant if you were never taught that growing up.
Lastly, I will leave you with the prayer that I have prayed so many times today. Believe it or not, a gay CAN pray to someone besides the devil. I know it may hard for you to understand now, but you'll get the hang of it one day. This is what I pray and I ask if you take anything from this letter, it's this.
"Dear God,
I know that there are people in the world that will never fully understand the beauty of life and diversity. I ask that you help them in their journey. For those that you simply cannot reach because their soul is so rooted in hate, please let them continue to write things or say things to me if they feel the need to do so. I am strong enough to handle what they are doing. If it takes them writing things on my board to prevent them doing it to someone else, I will gladly accept that. Amen."
If you are going to belittle someone for their sexuality, or their skin color, or the hairstyle, or simply the shoes on their feet, continue to do it to me. There are others out there that can and will take their own life to end their misery because people like you can't see them and accept them for who they are. I will never do that because I will never give you the satisfaction of knowing you even stood a chance with my life. I'm a survivor in more ways than you'll ever know. Just remember one thing; your actions, bigotry, intolerance, and hatefulness will always speak louder than any words you could ever say. What you say and do could end someone's life.
It is time that we as human beings close our eyes just long enough to open our hearts and do what we were meant to do all along. Love.
Sincerely,
Alex Baker
PS- If you think that what you've said is going to stop me from wearing my heels, then I guess I will see you this weekend.
