Day after day we find ourselves feeling beaten down, feeling less than we should...all because if someone else. You could've tried harder on that assignment, you could be quieter, you could be less gay or even less black.
Let that sink in.
Today's realization is a good one.
Why is it that we find ourselves being knocked down and having to somehow climb back up by telling ourselves words of encouragement to counter what someone has said? The interesting part about that climb is that we sometimes knock down someone else in the process. It may not always be a direct blow to them. It could be that you laughed while someone made a "joke." Maybe you stood in silence while someone was being ridiculed. Maybe one time you simple has a preconceived thought based on appearances... So my question is why? Why do we allow ourselves to put someone in the exact same dark place we've been before?
Rather than knocking someone down, we should be the ones that attempt (what seems to be) impossible; try to ensure no one ever feels the way someone once made you feel. It's all so silly when you really think about it.
I've previously mentioned a few times that calling someone gay doesn't make you any more straight. Calling someone black doesn't make you any whiter. Telling someone they will go to hell doesn't make it any easier for you to get into heaven.
So why do we do it?
I'm here to say that you are perfect JUST the way you are. Those "imperfections" and "negative qualities" aren't that at all. In fact, they are the one thing that will allow you and I to rise up and fight for what is right. Thank you for being so imperfect.
As long as we are all standing there with our hearts and arms open wide for any and every person, nobody should ever feel less than or alone because we are all here for one common thing: to love.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Leadershape Day One
Have you ever just taken a chance on something while being so completely in the dark you're not sure why you've done it? Have you ever just known deep down inside that the rewards would surely outweigh the risk? I am currently experiencing both of those tonight. I signed up last year for this leadership camp called Leadershape. In a nutshell, Leadershape is a 6 day leadership camp. The thing about Leadershape is that you know absolutely nothing about it, except that it's a truly transformational opportunity. This unknown factor is known as leadershape magic.
As I lay here on my (what should be) bunk bed, I find myself thinking a few things.
1. I hope breakfast is good. Dinner was nothing exceptional, but it definitely wasn't prison food. I just like to eat, so that's why this takes the first spot.
2. While I look back at the day, I can't help but remember some of the faces and some of the stories I've come across. I lay here in a state of mind that I can't quite explain. It's always so shocking to me that out of fifty something people, each person has a story. Each person has that grandma that died or that heart attack or even that injury that prevented them from following their dream or changed the course of their life entirely. While I am not silly enough to have thought I'm the only one, I am silly enough to forget that everyone has been through shit that has shaped them into who they are. The most compelling thing about this is the attitudes that follow the stories. We all live in a world where nothing is perfect, but we all have such different takes on life. We can choose to roll with the punches, play the victim, or sink into a state of content with the events that play out. We can't control the situation, but we can control how we react.
3. I keep telling myself that I'd much rather be somewhere else doing something else and wish that I wouldn't have committed to this. But when I sit here and think of the good that's already come from me being here, would I really want to be somewhere else? Take advantage of the daily connections we make with people. Allow your heart and soul to be happy because you know that you've connected with someone. All throughout life we feel alone, but just through daily connections we can feel like never before.
I leave you with one of my favorite discussions I've had today; the perspective shift. Whenever you wake up, you have a choice. You can choose to believe today will be excellent, or you can choose to believe today will suck. Whatever you choose, it's entirely your decision. No one else's. If at some point you feel like your day has gotten worse or it is couldn't get any lower, just remember that you got to that point by having a shift in perspective. If all it took was a shift in perspective to get there, then why should it take something more than that to change it again? You have the power to control how you view things.
So whether you're at a leadership camp at which you're taking a risk on, or just having a bad day, know that you can change it. Today you are loved and you can do anything you set your mind to, even if it's just a shift in perspective.
As I lay here on my (what should be) bunk bed, I find myself thinking a few things.
1. I hope breakfast is good. Dinner was nothing exceptional, but it definitely wasn't prison food. I just like to eat, so that's why this takes the first spot.
2. While I look back at the day, I can't help but remember some of the faces and some of the stories I've come across. I lay here in a state of mind that I can't quite explain. It's always so shocking to me that out of fifty something people, each person has a story. Each person has that grandma that died or that heart attack or even that injury that prevented them from following their dream or changed the course of their life entirely. While I am not silly enough to have thought I'm the only one, I am silly enough to forget that everyone has been through shit that has shaped them into who they are. The most compelling thing about this is the attitudes that follow the stories. We all live in a world where nothing is perfect, but we all have such different takes on life. We can choose to roll with the punches, play the victim, or sink into a state of content with the events that play out. We can't control the situation, but we can control how we react.
3. I keep telling myself that I'd much rather be somewhere else doing something else and wish that I wouldn't have committed to this. But when I sit here and think of the good that's already come from me being here, would I really want to be somewhere else? Take advantage of the daily connections we make with people. Allow your heart and soul to be happy because you know that you've connected with someone. All throughout life we feel alone, but just through daily connections we can feel like never before.
I leave you with one of my favorite discussions I've had today; the perspective shift. Whenever you wake up, you have a choice. You can choose to believe today will be excellent, or you can choose to believe today will suck. Whatever you choose, it's entirely your decision. No one else's. If at some point you feel like your day has gotten worse or it is couldn't get any lower, just remember that you got to that point by having a shift in perspective. If all it took was a shift in perspective to get there, then why should it take something more than that to change it again? You have the power to control how you view things.
So whether you're at a leadership camp at which you're taking a risk on, or just having a bad day, know that you can change it. Today you are loved and you can do anything you set your mind to, even if it's just a shift in perspective.
Friday, January 3, 2014
Opportunities
"When one door closes, another opens."
This quote has proven to be true countless times for me.
In high school, I had my mind made up as to what I wanted to do. Give me a stage and microphone and I feel more at home there than sometimes even in my actual home. I love the lights, I love the costumes, I love the attention quite frankly. It was only natural that I continued my career of center stage and there was one school that was noted for being top notch in the industry; OCU. I was naive back then because I thought that college was affordable and I could just take out a loan or two to get my degree. Long story short, I was shut down hard by my grandma. I receive OHLAP which pays your tuition for any public University in Oklahoma. I guess I should now say thanks to my mom for being a fuck up, your lack of responsibility and a steady paying job got me something in life. It would be silly for me to pay so much money to attend OCU when I could attend another University for almost free. As I sat at the kitchen table back in 2010, I opened my acceptance letter to the University of Central Oklahoma. I was happy that I was accepted somewhere, but it wasn't really what I wanted. Two weeks later, I received my letter from the University of Oklahoma. I opened it, and much to my surprise I was not accepted. I guess I should have focused more on my studying for the ACT than on my studying of pop culture. I can now give over 100 facts about Ke$ha, and can probably only solve 100 math problems.
I came from a small town, so the thought of going to a group that loves and accepts me for being me sounded unreal. I joined the Gay Alliance for Tolerance and Equality with high hopes. At the opening meeting, the President opened with a speech that I found absolutely frightening. "If you're here to hook up, then don't come back." Was I about to get poached by one of the many faces in the room? No way!!! I didn't go back for the remainder of that semester, and part of the next. I had a friend who was interested in attending, so against my wishes we went. It was one of the most open and accepting places I had been to. People weren't having sex all over the place, I wasn't getting shade thrown at me left and right. I had more people welcome me at that meeting than almost anywhere else I've gone. I felt so comfortable and welcomed there, and I knew it was something I needed to be in. About a year ago, it was announced that there would be an opening for a leadership position on campus. I had been a very active member for the organization since mid second semester. I helped see the organization through its name change, new logo, recruiting new members, and planning some events. I was a shoe in for the Presidency. One evening I was attending another organization's program when the Director approached me and asked if I had any interest in joining the executive committee for them. I politely declined and said that if I didn't get the Presidency I would try. Two weeks later, I didn't get the position. I was pretty beat up about it, but I stood true to my word and applied for an executive position for the other organization. A few days after my interview I was called and was accepted.
The Director wrote something peculiar in a card recently; "I've never been so happy a student hasn't gotten a position." That has stuck with me since then. I can honestly say I've never been so happy I've been rejected from multiple things. Without those rejections, I would never be where I am today. I am so very happy to announce that I am officially the School Swap Coordinator for the NACA Central Region (which covers area in 8 states.) NACA is the National Association for Campus Activities, and not only is it an amazing experience, it's one step closer to my future in Student Affairs. I was up against both undergraduate and graduate students, and beat them out for the position.
Next time you get rejected, turned down, or declined, it's only natural to be disappointed in yourself. However, keep it in the back of your mind that there is something bigger and better out there for you. Keep reading your story, and never forget to turn the page. If you feel like you've come to the end of the book, then pick up the next one in line. Life is so full of opportunity and adventure, it's just up to you and I to step foot through those doors. I hope that someday you will be able to look back and can say with a smile that you've never been so happy you didn't receive an opportunity.
I know that I can.
This quote has proven to be true countless times for me.
In high school, I had my mind made up as to what I wanted to do. Give me a stage and microphone and I feel more at home there than sometimes even in my actual home. I love the lights, I love the costumes, I love the attention quite frankly. It was only natural that I continued my career of center stage and there was one school that was noted for being top notch in the industry; OCU. I was naive back then because I thought that college was affordable and I could just take out a loan or two to get my degree. Long story short, I was shut down hard by my grandma. I receive OHLAP which pays your tuition for any public University in Oklahoma. I guess I should now say thanks to my mom for being a fuck up, your lack of responsibility and a steady paying job got me something in life. It would be silly for me to pay so much money to attend OCU when I could attend another University for almost free. As I sat at the kitchen table back in 2010, I opened my acceptance letter to the University of Central Oklahoma. I was happy that I was accepted somewhere, but it wasn't really what I wanted. Two weeks later, I received my letter from the University of Oklahoma. I opened it, and much to my surprise I was not accepted. I guess I should have focused more on my studying for the ACT than on my studying of pop culture. I can now give over 100 facts about Ke$ha, and can probably only solve 100 math problems.
I came from a small town, so the thought of going to a group that loves and accepts me for being me sounded unreal. I joined the Gay Alliance for Tolerance and Equality with high hopes. At the opening meeting, the President opened with a speech that I found absolutely frightening. "If you're here to hook up, then don't come back." Was I about to get poached by one of the many faces in the room? No way!!! I didn't go back for the remainder of that semester, and part of the next. I had a friend who was interested in attending, so against my wishes we went. It was one of the most open and accepting places I had been to. People weren't having sex all over the place, I wasn't getting shade thrown at me left and right. I had more people welcome me at that meeting than almost anywhere else I've gone. I felt so comfortable and welcomed there, and I knew it was something I needed to be in. About a year ago, it was announced that there would be an opening for a leadership position on campus. I had been a very active member for the organization since mid second semester. I helped see the organization through its name change, new logo, recruiting new members, and planning some events. I was a shoe in for the Presidency. One evening I was attending another organization's program when the Director approached me and asked if I had any interest in joining the executive committee for them. I politely declined and said that if I didn't get the Presidency I would try. Two weeks later, I didn't get the position. I was pretty beat up about it, but I stood true to my word and applied for an executive position for the other organization. A few days after my interview I was called and was accepted.
The Director wrote something peculiar in a card recently; "I've never been so happy a student hasn't gotten a position." That has stuck with me since then. I can honestly say I've never been so happy I've been rejected from multiple things. Without those rejections, I would never be where I am today. I am so very happy to announce that I am officially the School Swap Coordinator for the NACA Central Region (which covers area in 8 states.) NACA is the National Association for Campus Activities, and not only is it an amazing experience, it's one step closer to my future in Student Affairs. I was up against both undergraduate and graduate students, and beat them out for the position.
Next time you get rejected, turned down, or declined, it's only natural to be disappointed in yourself. However, keep it in the back of your mind that there is something bigger and better out there for you. Keep reading your story, and never forget to turn the page. If you feel like you've come to the end of the book, then pick up the next one in line. Life is so full of opportunity and adventure, it's just up to you and I to step foot through those doors. I hope that someday you will be able to look back and can say with a smile that you've never been so happy you didn't receive an opportunity.
I know that I can.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
2k14
We are living in a society where everything is controversial. The backwoods swamp patriarch of Duck Dynasty spoke openly about his religious views against gays. Okay, great. Everyone deserves the right to their opinion. So why did the world flip their shit when he voiced his opinion? Isn’t it also an opinion that contradicts everything he believes in? So why should you have the right to voice your opinion and not he? It’s not our job as people to sit on our asses and judge, criticize, and discriminate against other people. It’s our job to love one another, celebrate the differences that surround us, and live a life that makes us happy. You’re not guaranteed another 365 days after this one, so I suggest you stop judging and start living.
Everyone always questions what is their purpose in life. I’ve done it countless times. I’m sure you’ve done it at least once or twice yourself. Tomorrow is the beginning of a new year. To some, that means another year older. To some, it means another year wiser. To some, it means a new beginning or even a great ending. Whatever it means to you, live for the moment. Each day focus on what truly makes you happy. For me, a new year means a new challenge, a new adventure, or simply just a new day. However, although it may be “just a new day,” that doesn’t mean that the day should go to waste. There’s one thing that I’ve found that not only makes me happy, but also tends to make someone else happy as well…the gift of giving. In 2014, don’t make resolutions. Resolutions are so easily broken and there tends to be no emotional conflict with it. Instead, make a promise. You (hopefully) wouldn’t break a promise to your best friend, so why should you break a promise to yourself? I could easily give up soda or limit myself to one hour a day on watching TV or even going a month without meat. But I know that in today’s society, we are all about the immediate reward. What result will I see if I give up soda? Sure. In the long run it’ll be better for me, but I think that’s why resolutions are so easily broken. There’s no immediate benefit, gain, or reward.
This year, I promise to myself that I’m going to be more selfless.
Why did I decide this? Looking back in 2013, I have found that my happiest moments are when I did something selfless, and also when someone did something selfless that helped me out. My grandmother has been gone for quite some time now, but her voice and vision is stronger than ever.
Love.
With 365 days ahead of me in 2014, that gives me at least 365 chance to be selfless and make someones day a little bit easier, a little happier, and to remind them that it's not too difficult to love.
With each passing day in the new year, don’t forget to love. You might be having a bad day, but taking it out on others will not make it any better. You might have gotten a shitty tip from a “Christian,” but grouping all Christians together as shitty tippers will not do anything but harbor anger in your heart. Lastly, you might not believe in one thing or another (gay marriage, God, abortion,) but that doesn’t make you right. It makes you human. Everyone will have an opinion on it. Next time someone voices that opinion, instead of firing up the keys on your computer, just stop for a second and take a step back…look at things from their point of view. Even if it goes against everything you believe in, allow that individual to voice their opinion. Times are changing for the better. As long as we continue to do what we were set out to do, then there should be no excuse for the cruelty and wrongness that the world endures.
Make 2014 count. Live, laugh, and above all….
Love.
Everyone always questions what is their purpose in life. I’ve done it countless times. I’m sure you’ve done it at least once or twice yourself. Tomorrow is the beginning of a new year. To some, that means another year older. To some, it means another year wiser. To some, it means a new beginning or even a great ending. Whatever it means to you, live for the moment. Each day focus on what truly makes you happy. For me, a new year means a new challenge, a new adventure, or simply just a new day. However, although it may be “just a new day,” that doesn’t mean that the day should go to waste. There’s one thing that I’ve found that not only makes me happy, but also tends to make someone else happy as well…the gift of giving. In 2014, don’t make resolutions. Resolutions are so easily broken and there tends to be no emotional conflict with it. Instead, make a promise. You (hopefully) wouldn’t break a promise to your best friend, so why should you break a promise to yourself? I could easily give up soda or limit myself to one hour a day on watching TV or even going a month without meat. But I know that in today’s society, we are all about the immediate reward. What result will I see if I give up soda? Sure. In the long run it’ll be better for me, but I think that’s why resolutions are so easily broken. There’s no immediate benefit, gain, or reward.
This year, I promise to myself that I’m going to be more selfless.
Why did I decide this? Looking back in 2013, I have found that my happiest moments are when I did something selfless, and also when someone did something selfless that helped me out. My grandmother has been gone for quite some time now, but her voice and vision is stronger than ever.
Love.
With 365 days ahead of me in 2014, that gives me at least 365 chance to be selfless and make someones day a little bit easier, a little happier, and to remind them that it's not too difficult to love.
With each passing day in the new year, don’t forget to love. You might be having a bad day, but taking it out on others will not make it any better. You might have gotten a shitty tip from a “Christian,” but grouping all Christians together as shitty tippers will not do anything but harbor anger in your heart. Lastly, you might not believe in one thing or another (gay marriage, God, abortion,) but that doesn’t make you right. It makes you human. Everyone will have an opinion on it. Next time someone voices that opinion, instead of firing up the keys on your computer, just stop for a second and take a step back…look at things from their point of view. Even if it goes against everything you believe in, allow that individual to voice their opinion. Times are changing for the better. As long as we continue to do what we were set out to do, then there should be no excuse for the cruelty and wrongness that the world endures.
Make 2014 count. Live, laugh, and above all….
Love.
“I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”― Maya Angelou
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Dear World
Dear World,
I am writing you this letter in regards to something you have done to me recently. I would very much like to write this to one person in particular, but I cannot do that as that person remains cowardly and anonymous.
I think I want to start this letter by asking: what did you hope to accomplish by doing what you did? Did you think it would scare me? Make me rethink my clothing choices? You definitely did not accomplish that. At all. It has however made me think long and hard about the world we live in.
I would be naive to think that I could wear heels all day without getting backlash from somebody. A classmate of mine posted on her Facebook wall "Just saw a guy on campus wearing high heels. Ummm....okay? Whatever floats your boat I guess haha" Did this upset me? Nah. I knew things like this was going to happen at some point or another. What I didn't expect was what you did.
When I came home from celebrating my 22nd birthday, I came home to find the piece of hatred you left for me. I will start with the first word. You wrote the word "fag" on my bulletin board. It is my job each month to create a new bulletin board. It should be something helpful to the residents in the building as well as be eye catching so that I can help them in some way with the information that's on there. My bulletin board this month revolves around leadership. I am taking the opportunity that you've given me and I will use it to teach something any leader should know.
Acceptance.
Do you know where the word "faggot" comes from? Someone who I consider an amazing human being, friend, and teacher told me, and I will take this opportunity to enlighten you. The word "faggot" dates back to the witch hunts in European history. People accused of being witches weren't the only people that were burned. Men accused of participating in homosexual acts were drenched in flammable liquids to start the fires for the witches at stake. This letter isn't about a history lesson though, so I will end that part.
It's been a full 24 hours now since I came home to find the hate speech you have written on my board, and I'm more passionate about it than ever. I want you to know something, you can write on my board, whatever you want, anytime you want. The good, the bad, and anything in between. The initial shock factor might get to me, but that's all you'll get. I've been called every name imaginable, so you're not being innovative with whatever it is you decide to say. Someone might ask the question: if I wasn't upset by what you have done, then why am I taking the time out of my day to write this?
I am writing this for anyone that needs to hear it. You have deeply impacted me in a way that I never knew existed. I cried today. I cried a lot actually. But not for me. Here is why I cried...
What if there was someone in this building that was struggling with their sexuality and had started building the courage to finally come out? They then see what you've written and are scared back into not coming out. What if there's someone in this building that has a roommate that is anything but what they consider ideal? You're giving them the thought that it is okay to say hurtful things, and it's simply not.
It is not okay.
You also decided to write "heels are for girls." I can agree with this to some level. Heels were probably meant for females to wear. However, where does it say that heels can't be worn by men? Through gender stereotyping we have made it the norm for females to wear them, but please tell me why men can't?
I'm struggling to comprehend why you would do something like this. Your ignorance has proven to me that there is most definitely still a battle. There is something that I must stand my ground on, heels or not, and fight for what I believe in. I commend you for standing up for what you believe i,, but please, if you're going to do it, HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT TO MY FACE. I would applaud you actually if you decided to do this. Until then, I have to pity you. The difference between you and I is that when I set out my size 11 high heels to wear the next day, I knew that I would be fighting for what I believe in and not be scared of who knew it. You on the other hand, hid behind a marker. When it comes down to it, I would say that at this given instance I am more of a man than you'll ever be because I am not hiding.
Through such a hateful act that was meant to tear me down, you have only built me up. I have told a few people the situation and every single person that I told was infuriated that such ignorance and cowardice can walk around an spill hate from their mouth. I have had more support with this situation than you'll ever receive for your hate. Whether you choose to believe it or not, things are changing in society. One day YOU will be the minority and I will still be standing proud and tall, in my heels of course. Don't worry, I'll accept you then just as I accept you now. I know that hate and ignorance doesn't come naturally. My boss used the perfect example for someone in your situation. You can't expect someone to do a calculus problem if they haven't taken calculus yet. Just as I can't expect you to accept me and be tolerant if you were never taught that growing up.
Lastly, I will leave you with the prayer that I have prayed so many times today. Believe it or not, a gay CAN pray to someone besides the devil. I know it may hard for you to understand now, but you'll get the hang of it one day. This is what I pray and I ask if you take anything from this letter, it's this.
"Dear God,
I know that there are people in the world that will never fully understand the beauty of life and diversity. I ask that you help them in their journey. For those that you simply cannot reach because their soul is so rooted in hate, please let them continue to write things or say things to me if they feel the need to do so. I am strong enough to handle what they are doing. If it takes them writing things on my board to prevent them doing it to someone else, I will gladly accept that. Amen."
If you are going to belittle someone for their sexuality, or their skin color, or the hairstyle, or simply the shoes on their feet, continue to do it to me. There are others out there that can and will take their own life to end their misery because people like you can't see them and accept them for who they are. I will never do that because I will never give you the satisfaction of knowing you even stood a chance with my life. I'm a survivor in more ways than you'll ever know. Just remember one thing; your actions, bigotry, intolerance, and hatefulness will always speak louder than any words you could ever say. What you say and do could end someone's life.
It is time that we as human beings close our eyes just long enough to open our hearts and do what we were meant to do all along. Love.
Sincerely,
Alex Baker
PS- If you think that what you've said is going to stop me from wearing my heels, then I guess I will see you this weekend.
I am writing you this letter in regards to something you have done to me recently. I would very much like to write this to one person in particular, but I cannot do that as that person remains cowardly and anonymous.
I think I want to start this letter by asking: what did you hope to accomplish by doing what you did? Did you think it would scare me? Make me rethink my clothing choices? You definitely did not accomplish that. At all. It has however made me think long and hard about the world we live in.
I would be naive to think that I could wear heels all day without getting backlash from somebody. A classmate of mine posted on her Facebook wall "Just saw a guy on campus wearing high heels. Ummm....okay? Whatever floats your boat I guess haha" Did this upset me? Nah. I knew things like this was going to happen at some point or another. What I didn't expect was what you did.
When I came home from celebrating my 22nd birthday, I came home to find the piece of hatred you left for me. I will start with the first word. You wrote the word "fag" on my bulletin board. It is my job each month to create a new bulletin board. It should be something helpful to the residents in the building as well as be eye catching so that I can help them in some way with the information that's on there. My bulletin board this month revolves around leadership. I am taking the opportunity that you've given me and I will use it to teach something any leader should know.
Acceptance.
Do you know where the word "faggot" comes from? Someone who I consider an amazing human being, friend, and teacher told me, and I will take this opportunity to enlighten you. The word "faggot" dates back to the witch hunts in European history. People accused of being witches weren't the only people that were burned. Men accused of participating in homosexual acts were drenched in flammable liquids to start the fires for the witches at stake. This letter isn't about a history lesson though, so I will end that part.
It's been a full 24 hours now since I came home to find the hate speech you have written on my board, and I'm more passionate about it than ever. I want you to know something, you can write on my board, whatever you want, anytime you want. The good, the bad, and anything in between. The initial shock factor might get to me, but that's all you'll get. I've been called every name imaginable, so you're not being innovative with whatever it is you decide to say. Someone might ask the question: if I wasn't upset by what you have done, then why am I taking the time out of my day to write this?
I am writing this for anyone that needs to hear it. You have deeply impacted me in a way that I never knew existed. I cried today. I cried a lot actually. But not for me. Here is why I cried...
What if there was someone in this building that was struggling with their sexuality and had started building the courage to finally come out? They then see what you've written and are scared back into not coming out. What if there's someone in this building that has a roommate that is anything but what they consider ideal? You're giving them the thought that it is okay to say hurtful things, and it's simply not.
It is not okay.
You also decided to write "heels are for girls." I can agree with this to some level. Heels were probably meant for females to wear. However, where does it say that heels can't be worn by men? Through gender stereotyping we have made it the norm for females to wear them, but please tell me why men can't?
I'm struggling to comprehend why you would do something like this. Your ignorance has proven to me that there is most definitely still a battle. There is something that I must stand my ground on, heels or not, and fight for what I believe in. I commend you for standing up for what you believe i,, but please, if you're going to do it, HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT TO MY FACE. I would applaud you actually if you decided to do this. Until then, I have to pity you. The difference between you and I is that when I set out my size 11 high heels to wear the next day, I knew that I would be fighting for what I believe in and not be scared of who knew it. You on the other hand, hid behind a marker. When it comes down to it, I would say that at this given instance I am more of a man than you'll ever be because I am not hiding.
Through such a hateful act that was meant to tear me down, you have only built me up. I have told a few people the situation and every single person that I told was infuriated that such ignorance and cowardice can walk around an spill hate from their mouth. I have had more support with this situation than you'll ever receive for your hate. Whether you choose to believe it or not, things are changing in society. One day YOU will be the minority and I will still be standing proud and tall, in my heels of course. Don't worry, I'll accept you then just as I accept you now. I know that hate and ignorance doesn't come naturally. My boss used the perfect example for someone in your situation. You can't expect someone to do a calculus problem if they haven't taken calculus yet. Just as I can't expect you to accept me and be tolerant if you were never taught that growing up.
Lastly, I will leave you with the prayer that I have prayed so many times today. Believe it or not, a gay CAN pray to someone besides the devil. I know it may hard for you to understand now, but you'll get the hang of it one day. This is what I pray and I ask if you take anything from this letter, it's this.
"Dear God,
I know that there are people in the world that will never fully understand the beauty of life and diversity. I ask that you help them in their journey. For those that you simply cannot reach because their soul is so rooted in hate, please let them continue to write things or say things to me if they feel the need to do so. I am strong enough to handle what they are doing. If it takes them writing things on my board to prevent them doing it to someone else, I will gladly accept that. Amen."
If you are going to belittle someone for their sexuality, or their skin color, or the hairstyle, or simply the shoes on their feet, continue to do it to me. There are others out there that can and will take their own life to end their misery because people like you can't see them and accept them for who they are. I will never do that because I will never give you the satisfaction of knowing you even stood a chance with my life. I'm a survivor in more ways than you'll ever know. Just remember one thing; your actions, bigotry, intolerance, and hatefulness will always speak louder than any words you could ever say. What you say and do could end someone's life.
It is time that we as human beings close our eyes just long enough to open our hearts and do what we were meant to do all along. Love.
Sincerely,
Alex Baker
PS- If you think that what you've said is going to stop me from wearing my heels, then I guess I will see you this weekend.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Warrior
Adversity.
We all go through it in some way or another. Who can say they have had an easy life without any hardships? If you can say you have, then consider yourself lucky. I have not met a single person that can say that. I'm not going to sit here and say my life is miserable though.
It's not.
I have a job that I love. I have a car that works. I have a fully functioning body. Well, maybe minus my ear right now. However, I am confident that it will all work out for the best. Life is hard for all of us. If it wasn't for the bad, we wouldn't realize how good things can actually be. There is one thing that I don't quite understand. We all have a tough time at one point or another, so why do we take it upon ourselves to go out of our way to be rude to someone else?
Think about it.
That person you just honked at because they weren't driving fast enough. The man at the drive thru who messed up your order. Maybe even your coworker who just isn't quite doing their job. We all wear masks in our daily lives. In some way, shape, or form, we hide our insecurities from the world. What happens when someone taps into that insecurity? We become vulnerable. We automatically retract. Emotions rush through our veins.
Today was a unique day for me to say the least. As many of you probably know by know, I have the nappiest blonde wig in the world. Surprisingly, it looks just like Amanda Bynes' nappy blonde wig she sports throughout twitter and New York City. One night, I decided that I was going to be Amanda Bynes. I loved it. I love what Amanda has to offer me. It's a character I've continued to portray. I've been sure to post pictures all about social media getting various responses.
Rewind.
A man 48 year old man added me on Facebook recently. I didn't know the man, but hell, I could've met him one night while I was busy being Amanda. We had several small chats, nothing deep or personal. I saw some of his statuses on my timeline several times. You could tell that the things he would post were cries for help. One day he would be happy with himself, content with where he was at. The next day he would beat himself up, angry at what he was. He would always try and flirt with me on my statuses and photos. He once asked me "Mr. Baker. May I ask please. I'm 48. Please be honest. Am I too old for you?" I replied that age was just a number, which it is. He replied back "
Fast forward.
I love what Amanda has to offer me. It's a character I've continued to portray. I've been sure to post pictures all about social media getting various responses. One day, I posted a picture of me as Amanda. If you follow the Amanda news, you would know she wore a light blue wig to court. I didn't have a light blue wig, but a dark blue one instead. I wore it, and I loved it. This man, who has given me all the compliments in the world, posted on the photo "You make one beautiful man and one ugly bitch!" It was a joke. It's also true. If you've read my previous blogs, you would know that I don't attempt to be a woman. I really don't attempt to portray a woman. I just do what I like to do.
Be me.
I was headed to bed and I saw the blonde Amanda wig and something took over me. I immediately wanted to take pictures of myself.Maybe that's why she always posts pictures of herself. I called my roommate into the room and had him snap a few photos, against his will of course. I posted them on Facebook later and decided to call it a night. I woke up this morning with a Facebook notification saying the 48 year old man had posted on my picture. I was thinking it's probably yet another attempt at him flirting with me. "What an absolute waste for potentially a good looking MAN."
I couldn't have been more wrong.
This hurt. This pissed me off. He is a stranger, but he has had plenty of opportunity to read and know that doing this is quite an insecurity for me. I decided how I wanted to approach the situation. I almost resorted to being an absolute mess and throw in a handful of curse words, but then I realized I'm better than that.
"I'm not entirely sure why you continue to put emphasis on the word man. I have a penis between my legs. I am well aware of my gender so there is no need for you to continue pointing it out. I appreciate the compliments but I ask that you refrain if you have to tack on my gender each time.
A Boy Who Likes Heels
Read that. If for some reason you have a problem with what I do and what I like to wear, delete me as a friend. I'll even do you a favor and do it myself if you want me to do so. For the record, this is Alex speaking. Not Amanda."
I immediately went over to delete this man as a "friend" on Facebook only to discover he had beat me to it. LOL, bye! I couldn't believe it. Things only got better.
"Alex, I did finally read that blogspot of yours. I can't in any way apologize to you for anything I posted because I sincerely feel that gay men who dress in drag are a weight, if not worse, to the daily fight we normal gay men make for our equality.
Honestly, people like you, who I'm certain do not vote, turn the stomachs and hearts of the American people away from Equality. While normal gays are fighting the fight out there in public media, we have to contend with our retarded little cousins who think we're all florists and pom-pom waving drag queens. What's even worse is when I see some men in dress who are horrifying enough to frighten small children...like I believe you do.
Alex, there was a time for us all, during adolescence, when we founds ourselves born with a male body and a female brain. I was 14 when I realized this. Being raised religious, I turned to prayer. "Jesus please make my penis into a vagina so the boys will want to fuck me". He didn't. About a year later, I reasoned that I'm a gay man, not a hybrid woman freak.
My suggestion is that you stop being a hindrance to the equality movement, put some goddam pants on and grow the fuck up!"
Okay okay. I had thought previously that this man must be crazy. However, once I read this my suspicions were confirmed. What is it this man has against me? Is it the generational gap? Is it because I turned him down many a time? What the fuck is this guy's problem? But wait, there's more.
"It's more disappointment than anything else. It wasn't sexual. You are a good looking MAN. You make a haggard, community-embarrassing spectacle as a drag thing. Honestly, you have the physical attractiveness to have gotten my attention but, I realize the vast difference in our ages. I was under no illusion. However, I can promise you two things: #1, I absolutely don't hate you and #2, Had I seen the drag thing up front, I never would have bothered you. You'll find that to be your life-long experience. Once they find out, unless they are girl-boy too, they'll run. Maybe they'll fuck you because you'll be desperate but, there won't be anyone serious because, you aren't to be taken seriously.
I'm just hoping I can get into that head of yours and help you to realize you are a man. Your friends might not have the courage to tell you but, you're a great looking man who is making a fool of himself with all that silly wig and makeup shit. I want you to be able to say, "Merréll, thank you for having the concern, courage and honesty to get me on the right path." If you logically filter it out, you'll discover your actions make NO SENSE. You're part of a community of men who are hoping to find a masculine man. If they wanted to be with REAL pussy, it's not that hard. Why would they choose fake pussy with a beard? There are no lover stories involving the bearded lady at the circus with the town's young, fine suitors. I just hope you come to understand how powerful you can be when you're a man, not a freakshow from the circus.
Hate you? Baby, I don't hate you. You're too young for me 2-to-1. I had a GREAT life and I'll share something with you here. I was a bottom in my two marriages but, I was also a man. You have SO MUCH potential.
Look, I feel the anger, resentment and sometimes rage you feel against straight society and their hateful "normal" standards. I get it. You want to give them the middle finger. Well, you can do it like a low-class nigger in the hood, which is the equivalent of what a white drag queen is, or you can do it by taking them on at their on standard and surpassing them. Wearing all the shit or wearing your pants down around the bottom of your ass is the same social rebellion. Is it helping the cause? NO. Quite the opposite.
Finally, I find you too educated, too intuitive, too hopeful for real love to not say something. You have youth on your side...for now. Stop wasting it. Nothing would make me happier than to see you successful, happy and wealthy. I swear I mean that. I don't blame you for not being interested in me. I've got more work to do on me. I've been threw a lot. Also, I'm 48. You deserve someone masculine, young, beautiful and destined for success. You will never find him doing that shit! "
This man has gone completely against everything I believe in and stand for. I began to think that he was just trolling (troll: a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people) me. It ruined my day. I was brushing my teeth and looked at myself in the mirror. It was in that exact moment that I decided that this man had put so much negativity into the world. It was in that exact moment that I decided I would not allow him to do this to me, or anyone else. Then, magic happened. I received another message that morning. It was from a classmate of mine back in high school. I haven't spoken to her since, and she is a very religious person. I could only imagine what she was going to say.
"One of the things I have always admired most about you is that you're so very brave. Please don't ever stop being who you are no matter what that means. I happen to think that you are wonderful and beautiful 100% of the time whether you were a tuxedo, or stilettos. I don't think you know yet the impact you will have on the world, but it's going to be profound."
Magic.
Then, a different female messaged me. "hey.. i saw what all just happened on your page and i just had to message you and thank you for being such an awesome person and not letting people get away with that kinda talk. It makes me feel like there is hope in the world that not everyone is a giant jerk. I hope the rest of your day goes awesome. It made my day when I saw what you said.. because as a person with very low self confidence sometimes, i would have probably just gotten upset and never said anything. what you said showed me that its okay to stand up and be myself... and if people cant accept me it's not my fault. it's pretty much changed my outlook on things for the better"
Now the story changes. I suddenly felt validated. I suddenly felt like me going through that was only so I could help someone else out. There are a few morals to this story I would like to share. First and foremost, you never know how much of an impact the words that you say can have on someone, good or bad. Next, the generation before me, be it gay or straight, still have like minded qualities. It will take us to be ambassadors to truly show "the new normal," even if it means we get some criticism along the way. Lastly, we must stop going out of our way to be hateful to other people. The world is cruel enough without the human race helping it.
My brother is my closest confidant. He knows every struggle and challenge I face. One day he sent me a picture. This picture is so very powerful, but not because of the image. It is because of the words. I will leave you with a picture of my own, along with those powerful words. In closing, to the world I say nothing will stop me from being me....or Amanda for that matter.
Small minds can't comprehend big spirits.
To be great, you have to be willing to be mocked, hated, and misunderstood.
stay strong.
We all go through it in some way or another. Who can say they have had an easy life without any hardships? If you can say you have, then consider yourself lucky. I have not met a single person that can say that. I'm not going to sit here and say my life is miserable though.
It's not.
I have a job that I love. I have a car that works. I have a fully functioning body. Well, maybe minus my ear right now. However, I am confident that it will all work out for the best. Life is hard for all of us. If it wasn't for the bad, we wouldn't realize how good things can actually be. There is one thing that I don't quite understand. We all have a tough time at one point or another, so why do we take it upon ourselves to go out of our way to be rude to someone else?
Think about it.
That person you just honked at because they weren't driving fast enough. The man at the drive thru who messed up your order. Maybe even your coworker who just isn't quite doing their job. We all wear masks in our daily lives. In some way, shape, or form, we hide our insecurities from the world. What happens when someone taps into that insecurity? We become vulnerable. We automatically retract. Emotions rush through our veins.
Today was a unique day for me to say the least. As many of you probably know by know, I have the nappiest blonde wig in the world. Surprisingly, it looks just like Amanda Bynes' nappy blonde wig she sports throughout twitter and New York City. One night, I decided that I was going to be Amanda Bynes. I loved it. I love what Amanda has to offer me. It's a character I've continued to portray. I've been sure to post pictures all about social media getting various responses.
Rewind.
A man 48 year old man added me on Facebook recently. I didn't know the man, but hell, I could've met him one night while I was busy being Amanda. We had several small chats, nothing deep or personal. I saw some of his statuses on my timeline several times. You could tell that the things he would post were cries for help. One day he would be happy with himself, content with where he was at. The next day he would beat himself up, angry at what he was. He would always try and flirt with me on my statuses and photos. He once asked me "Mr. Baker. May I ask please. I'm 48. Please be honest. Am I too old for you?" I replied that age was just a number, which it is. He replied back "
You are so fucking beautiful to me. I just keep holding back from calling or writing because I feel like, what's the point? He doesn't wanna be with me." There was yet another cry for help. His insecurities were showing. I didn't want to reject him, because nobody likes rejection, so instead I tried to encourage him to do what he wants. "Well thank you, kind sir. Only thing holding you back is you." I would never want to make someone feel like that are less than what they are. It takes courage to tell the person you like that you actually like them, and I will respect anyone that does so. The next message he sent took things to a new level. "How committed are you to OKC?" I didn't really know what to say since I didn't actually know this man. "The only thing I'm committed to is an asylum I feel." "I'm really close to asking you to visit me down here." He went on to say he would pay for the entire thing. I could "stay a few weeks." He would "take me to Disney World because he knew I liked Disney." He would "pay for the travel expenses" if I would just come down there. I told him (still trying to be nice and not let him be hard on himself) that I was very busy with school and work, and that I couldn't afford to take off. I also told him that if I was to ever do anything like that I would have to really know the person and trust them, but since I had barely talked to him I didn't exactly feel comfortable. He then cut right to the point and asked me if I was interested in him.
Fast forward.
I love what Amanda has to offer me. It's a character I've continued to portray. I've been sure to post pictures all about social media getting various responses. One day, I posted a picture of me as Amanda. If you follow the Amanda news, you would know she wore a light blue wig to court. I didn't have a light blue wig, but a dark blue one instead. I wore it, and I loved it. This man, who has given me all the compliments in the world, posted on the photo "You make one beautiful man and one ugly bitch!" It was a joke. It's also true. If you've read my previous blogs, you would know that I don't attempt to be a woman. I really don't attempt to portray a woman. I just do what I like to do.
Be me.
I was headed to bed and I saw the blonde Amanda wig and something took over me. I immediately wanted to take pictures of myself.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
This hurt. This pissed me off. He is a stranger, but he has had plenty of opportunity to read and know that doing this is quite an insecurity for me. I decided how I wanted to approach the situation. I almost resorted to being an absolute mess and throw in a handful of curse words, but then I realized I'm better than that.
"I'm not entirely sure why you continue to put emphasis on the word man. I have a penis between my legs. I am well aware of my gender so there is no need for you to continue pointing it out. I appreciate the compliments but I ask that you refrain if you have to tack on my gender each time.
A Boy Who Likes Heels
Read that. If for some reason you have a problem with what I do and what I like to wear, delete me as a friend. I'll even do you a favor and do it myself if you want me to do so. For the record, this is Alex speaking. Not Amanda."
I immediately went over to delete this man as a "friend" on Facebook only to discover he had beat me to it. LOL, bye! I couldn't believe it. Things only got better.
"Alex, I did finally read that blogspot of yours. I can't in any way apologize to you for anything I posted because I sincerely feel that gay men who dress in drag are a weight, if not worse, to the daily fight we normal gay men make for our equality.
Honestly, people like you, who I'm certain do not vote, turn the stomachs and hearts of the American people away from Equality. While normal gays are fighting the fight out there in public media, we have to contend with our retarded little cousins who think we're all florists and pom-pom waving drag queens. What's even worse is when I see some men in dress who are horrifying enough to frighten small children...like I believe you do.
Alex, there was a time for us all, during adolescence, when we founds ourselves born with a male body and a female brain. I was 14 when I realized this. Being raised religious, I turned to prayer. "Jesus please make my penis into a vagina so the boys will want to fuck me". He didn't. About a year later, I reasoned that I'm a gay man, not a hybrid woman freak.
My suggestion is that you stop being a hindrance to the equality movement, put some goddam pants on and grow the fuck up!"
Okay okay. I had thought previously that this man must be crazy. However, once I read this my suspicions were confirmed. What is it this man has against me? Is it the generational gap? Is it because I turned him down many a time? What the fuck is this guy's problem? But wait, there's more.
"It's more disappointment than anything else. It wasn't sexual. You are a good looking MAN. You make a haggard, community-embarrassing spectacle as a drag thing. Honestly, you have the physical attractiveness to have gotten my attention but, I realize the vast difference in our ages. I was under no illusion. However, I can promise you two things: #1, I absolutely don't hate you and #2, Had I seen the drag thing up front, I never would have bothered you. You'll find that to be your life-long experience. Once they find out, unless they are girl-boy too, they'll run. Maybe they'll fuck you because you'll be desperate but, there won't be anyone serious because, you aren't to be taken seriously.
I'm just hoping I can get into that head of yours and help you to realize you are a man. Your friends might not have the courage to tell you but, you're a great looking man who is making a fool of himself with all that silly wig and makeup shit. I want you to be able to say, "Merréll, thank you for having the concern, courage and honesty to get me on the right path." If you logically filter it out, you'll discover your actions make NO SENSE. You're part of a community of men who are hoping to find a masculine man. If they wanted to be with REAL pussy, it's not that hard. Why would they choose fake pussy with a beard? There are no lover stories involving the bearded lady at the circus with the town's young, fine suitors. I just hope you come to understand how powerful you can be when you're a man, not a freakshow from the circus.
Hate you? Baby, I don't hate you. You're too young for me 2-to-1. I had a GREAT life and I'll share something with you here. I was a bottom in my two marriages but, I was also a man. You have SO MUCH potential.
Look, I feel the anger, resentment and sometimes rage you feel against straight society and their hateful "normal" standards. I get it. You want to give them the middle finger. Well, you can do it like a low-class nigger in the hood, which is the equivalent of what a white drag queen is, or you can do it by taking them on at their on standard and surpassing them. Wearing all the shit or wearing your pants down around the bottom of your ass is the same social rebellion. Is it helping the cause? NO. Quite the opposite.
Finally, I find you too educated, too intuitive, too hopeful for real love to not say something. You have youth on your side...for now. Stop wasting it. Nothing would make me happier than to see you successful, happy and wealthy. I swear I mean that. I don't blame you for not being interested in me. I've got more work to do on me. I've been threw a lot. Also, I'm 48. You deserve someone masculine, young, beautiful and destined for success. You will never find him doing that shit! "
This man has gone completely against everything I believe in and stand for. I began to think that he was just trolling (troll: a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people) me. It ruined my day. I was brushing my teeth and looked at myself in the mirror. It was in that exact moment that I decided that this man had put so much negativity into the world. It was in that exact moment that I decided I would not allow him to do this to me, or anyone else. Then, magic happened. I received another message that morning. It was from a classmate of mine back in high school. I haven't spoken to her since, and she is a very religious person. I could only imagine what she was going to say.
"One of the things I have always admired most about you is that you're so very brave. Please don't ever stop being who you are no matter what that means. I happen to think that you are wonderful and beautiful 100% of the time whether you were a tuxedo, or stilettos. I don't think you know yet the impact you will have on the world, but it's going to be profound."
Magic.
Then, a different female messaged me. "hey.. i saw what all just happened on your page and i just had to message you and thank you for being such an awesome person and not letting people get away with that kinda talk. It makes me feel like there is hope in the world that not everyone is a giant jerk. I hope the rest of your day goes awesome. It made my day when I saw what you said.. because as a person with very low self confidence sometimes, i would have probably just gotten upset and never said anything. what you said showed me that its okay to stand up and be myself... and if people cant accept me it's not my fault. it's pretty much changed my outlook on things for the better"
Now the story changes. I suddenly felt validated. I suddenly felt like me going through that was only so I could help someone else out. There are a few morals to this story I would like to share. First and foremost, you never know how much of an impact the words that you say can have on someone, good or bad. Next, the generation before me, be it gay or straight, still have like minded qualities. It will take us to be ambassadors to truly show "the new normal," even if it means we get some criticism along the way. Lastly, we must stop going out of our way to be hateful to other people. The world is cruel enough without the human race helping it.
My brother is my closest confidant. He knows every struggle and challenge I face. One day he sent me a picture. This picture is so very powerful, but not because of the image. It is because of the words. I will leave you with a picture of my own, along with those powerful words. In closing, to the world I say nothing will stop me from being me....or Amanda for that matter.
To be great, you have to be willing to be mocked, hated, and misunderstood.
stay strong.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
A Dirty Word
"Nine out of ten motherfuckers agree that his fucking foul language is a fucking travesty.
But motherfucking fuck is just another fucking word the idea a word is dirty is to him fucking absurd." - Jay Brannan
Curse Word.
What is a "dirty" word? Who sat down one day and decided words will be "bad" and that we should not say them, especially around children? What makes a word bad? Is it the context of a word?
I fucking hate you.
Bad, yeah? What about this...
I freaking hate you.
Is it the word "fuck" that makes the first sentence bad? Both words are used in the exact same context. Both words have the exact same malicious intent, yet somehow "fucking" is worse than "freaking." Why is it we teach children this?
What in the hell is going on?
Bad.
He was condemned to hell.
In this case, both are considered nouns, yet one is far worse than the other one. What is the difference between one being a place and the other being a thing? Furthermore, what is "the hell?" Are we referring to the "hell" that is referenced in the second sentence?
You're a dick.
Tell me something I don't know.
My dick.
Same exact word. Yet, it is more acceptable to call someone a dick, rather than refer to the limb between my legs. Speaking of dicks...Why in the heaven (very much acceptable, same context. See above statement.) can a female say certain things to males, but males can't say certain things to females?
He's a dick.
She's a cunt.
Which is worse? If I were a gambling man, I would bet you chose the latter of the two. But why? Lastly, the word "bitch." How versatile is it.
She's my bitch.
She's a bitch.
The bitch just had a litter of puppies.
Rank these in order of acceptable to non acceptable. Easily done, yeah? How about this one?
Eat shit.
Let me grab my shit.
I need to take a shit.
Hhhhm. Very peculiar. Now let's direct our focus to some other words.
Penis.
Vagina.
Why have we let it become the standard that these words are bad? Why should we resort to referring to them as peepees and who-has? Regardless of the silly word you replace it with, you are still talking about the exact same thing. A penis is a part of the body. The same as a finger, a brain, or a heart.
Today, I urge you to think critically. Challenge the status quo. Fight for what you believe in. Lastly, I leave you with this. To the social "standards" in the world, I raise my middle finger. I say freak you, darn you, damn you, and of course, fuck you.
But motherfucking fuck is just another fucking word the idea a word is dirty is to him fucking absurd." - Jay Brannan
Curse Word.
What is a "dirty" word? Who sat down one day and decided words will be "bad" and that we should not say them, especially around children? What makes a word bad? Is it the context of a word?
I fucking hate you.
Bad, yeah? What about this...
I freaking hate you.
Is it the word "fuck" that makes the first sentence bad? Both words are used in the exact same context. Both words have the exact same malicious intent, yet somehow "fucking" is worse than "freaking." Why is it we teach children this?
What in the hell is going on?
Bad.
He was condemned to hell.
In this case, both are considered nouns, yet one is far worse than the other one. What is the difference between one being a place and the other being a thing? Furthermore, what is "the hell?" Are we referring to the "hell" that is referenced in the second sentence?
You're a dick.
Tell me something I don't know.
My dick.
Same exact word. Yet, it is more acceptable to call someone a dick, rather than refer to the limb between my legs. Speaking of dicks...Why in the heaven (very much acceptable, same context. See above statement.) can a female say certain things to males, but males can't say certain things to females?
He's a dick.
She's a cunt.
Which is worse? If I were a gambling man, I would bet you chose the latter of the two. But why? Lastly, the word "bitch." How versatile is it.
She's my bitch.
She's a bitch.
The bitch just had a litter of puppies.
Rank these in order of acceptable to non acceptable. Easily done, yeah? How about this one?
Eat shit.
Let me grab my shit.
I need to take a shit.
Hhhhm. Very peculiar. Now let's direct our focus to some other words.
Penis.
Vagina.
Why have we let it become the standard that these words are bad? Why should we resort to referring to them as peepees and who-has? Regardless of the silly word you replace it with, you are still talking about the exact same thing. A penis is a part of the body. The same as a finger, a brain, or a heart.
Today, I urge you to think critically. Challenge the status quo. Fight for what you believe in. Lastly, I leave you with this. To the social "standards" in the world, I raise my middle finger. I say freak you, darn you, damn you, and of course, fuck you.
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