2k14

We are living in a society where everything is controversial. The backwoods swamp patriarch of Duck Dynasty spoke openly about his religious views against gays. Okay, great. Everyone deserves the right to their opinion. So why did the world flip their shit when he voiced his opinion? Isn’t it also an opinion that contradicts everything he believes in? So why should you have the right to voice your opinion and not he? It’s not our job as people to sit on our asses and judge, criticize, and discriminate against other people. It’s our job to love one another, celebrate the differences that surround us, and live a life that makes us happy. You’re not guaranteed another 365 days after this one, so I suggest you stop judging and start living. 

Everyone always questions what is their purpose in life. I’ve done it countless times. I’m sure you’ve done it at least once or twice yourself. Tomorrow is the beginning of a new year. To some, that means another year older. To some, it means another year wiser. To some, it means a new beginning or even a great ending. Whatever it means to you, live for the moment. Each day focus on what truly makes you happy. For me, a new year means a new challenge, a new adventure, or simply just a new day. However, although it may be “just a new day,” that doesn’t mean that the day should go to waste. There’s one thing that I’ve found that not only makes me happy, but also tends to make someone else happy as well…the gift of giving. In 2014, don’t make resolutions. Resolutions are so easily broken and there tends to be no emotional conflict with it. Instead, make a promise. You (hopefully) wouldn’t break a promise to your best friend, so why should you break a promise to yourself? I could easily give up soda or limit myself to one hour a day on watching TV or even going a month without meat. But I know that in today’s society, we are all about the immediate reward. What result will I see if I give up soda? Sure. In the long run it’ll be better for me, but I think that’s why resolutions are so easily broken. There’s no immediate benefit, gain, or reward.

This year, I promise to myself that I’m going to be more selfless.

Why did I decide this? Looking back in 2013, I have found that my happiest moments are when I did something selfless, and also when someone did something selfless that helped me out. My grandmother has been gone for quite some time now, but her voice and vision is stronger than ever.

Love. 

With 365 days ahead of me in 2014, that gives me at least 365 chance to be selfless and make someones day a little bit easier, a little happier, and to remind them that it's not too difficult to love.

With each passing day in the new year, don’t forget to love. You might be having a bad day, but taking it out on others will not make it any better. You might have gotten a shitty tip from a “Christian,” but grouping all Christians together as shitty tippers will not do anything but harbor anger in your heart. Lastly, you might not believe in one thing or another (gay marriage, God, abortion,) but that doesn’t make you right. It makes you human. Everyone will have an opinion on it. Next time someone voices that opinion, instead of firing up the keys on your computer, just stop for a second and take a step back…look at things from their point of view. Even if it goes against everything you believe in, allow that individual to voice their opinion. Times are changing for the better. As long as we continue to do what we were set out to do, then there should be no excuse for the cruelty and wrongness that the world endures.

Make 2014 count. Live, laugh, and above all….

Love.

“I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”― Maya Angelou

Dear World

Dear World,

I am writing you this letter in regards to something you have done to me recently. I would very much like to write this to one person in particular, but I cannot do that as that person remains cowardly and anonymous.

I think I want to start this letter by asking:  what did you hope to accomplish by doing what you did? Did you think it would scare me? Make me rethink my clothing choices? You definitely did not accomplish that. At all. It has however made me think long and hard about the world we live in.

I would be naive to think that I could wear heels all day without getting backlash from somebody. A classmate of mine posted on her Facebook wall "Just saw a guy on campus wearing high heels. Ummm....okay? Whatever floats your boat I guess haha"  Did this upset me? Nah. I knew things like this was going to happen at some point or another. What I didn't expect was what you did.

When I came home from celebrating my 22nd birthday, I came home to find the piece of hatred you left for me. I will start with the first word. You wrote the word "fag" on my bulletin board. It is my job each month to create a new bulletin board. It should be something helpful to the residents in the building as well as be eye catching so that I can help them in some way with the information that's on there. My bulletin board this month revolves around leadership. I am taking the opportunity that you've given me and I will use it to teach something any leader should know.

Acceptance. 

Do you know where the word "faggot" comes from? Someone who I consider an amazing human being, friend, and teacher told me, and I will take this opportunity to enlighten you. The word "faggot" dates back to the witch hunts in European history. People accused of being witches weren't the only people that were burned. Men accused of participating in homosexual acts were drenched in flammable liquids to start the fires for the witches at stake. This letter isn't about a history lesson though, so I will end that part.

It's been a full 24 hours now since I came home to find the hate speech you have written on my board, and I'm more passionate about it than ever. I want you to know something, you can write on my board, whatever you want, anytime you want. The good, the bad, and anything in between. The initial shock factor might get to me, but that's all you'll get. I've been called every name imaginable, so you're not being innovative with whatever it is you decide to say. Someone might ask the question:  if I wasn't upset by what you have done, then why am I taking the time out of my day to write this?

I am writing this for anyone that needs to hear it. You have deeply impacted me in a way that I never knew existed. I cried today. I cried a lot actually. But not for me. Here is why I cried...

What if there was someone in this building that was struggling with their sexuality and had started building the courage to finally come out? They then see what you've written and are scared back into not coming out. What if there's someone in this building that has a roommate that is anything but what they consider ideal? You're giving them the thought that it is okay to say hurtful things, and it's simply not.

It is not okay.

You also decided to write "heels are for girls." I can agree with this to some level. Heels were probably meant for females to wear. However, where does it say that heels can't be worn by men? Through gender stereotyping we have made it the norm for females to wear them, but please tell me why men can't?

I'm struggling to comprehend why you would do something like this. Your ignorance has proven to me that there is most definitely still a battle. There is something that I must stand my ground on, heels or not, and fight for what I believe in. I commend you for standing up for what you believe i,, but please, if you're going to do it, HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT TO MY FACE. I would applaud you actually if you decided to do this. Until then, I have to pity you. The difference between you and I is that when I set out my size 11 high heels to wear the next day, I knew that I would be fighting for what I believe in and not be scared of who knew it. You on the other hand, hid behind a marker. When it comes down to it, I would say that at this given instance I am more of a man than you'll ever be because I am not hiding.

Through such a hateful act that was meant to tear me down, you have only built me up. I have told a few people the situation and every single person that I told was infuriated that such ignorance and cowardice can walk around an spill hate from their mouth.  I have had more support with this situation than you'll ever receive for your hate. Whether you  choose to believe it or not, things are changing in society. One day YOU will be the minority and I will still be standing proud and tall, in my heels of course. Don't worry, I'll accept you then just as I accept you now. I know that hate and ignorance doesn't come naturally. My boss used the perfect example for someone in your situation. You can't expect someone to do a calculus problem if they haven't taken calculus yet. Just as I can't expect you to accept me and be tolerant if you were never taught that growing up.

Lastly, I will leave you with the prayer that I have prayed so many times today. Believe it or not, a gay CAN pray to someone besides the devil. I know it may hard for you to understand now, but you'll get the hang of it one day. This is what I pray and I ask if you take anything from this letter, it's this.

"Dear God,

I know that there are people in the world that will never fully understand the beauty of life and diversity. I ask that you help them in their journey. For those that you simply cannot reach because their soul is so rooted in hate, please let them continue to write things or say things to me if they feel the need to do so. I am strong enough to handle what they are doing. If it takes them writing things on my board to prevent them doing it to someone else, I will gladly accept that. Amen."

If you are going to belittle someone for their sexuality, or their skin color, or the hairstyle, or simply the shoes on their feet, continue to do it to me. There are others out there that can and will take their own life to end their misery because people like you can't see them and accept them for who they are. I will never do that because I will never give you the satisfaction of knowing you even stood a chance with my life. I'm a survivor in more ways than you'll ever know. Just remember one thing; your actions, bigotry, intolerance, and hatefulness will always speak louder than any words you could ever say. What you say and do could end someone's life.

It is time that we as human beings close our eyes just long enough to open our hearts and do what we were meant to do all along.     Love.

Sincerely,

Alex Baker

PS- If you think that what you've said is going to stop me from wearing my heels, then I guess I will see you this weekend.