#FreeKeshaNow

To Whom It May Concern,

My name is Alex Baker. I am currently a young professional in higher education. It is with deep regret that I am contacting you all urging you to take action with the legal battles that is happening (publicly for over a year now) between Kesha Sebert and Lukasz Gottwald.

Working in higher education, I get the privilege and opportunity to work with so many creative, talented, successful, artistic, determined, amazing, intelligent, and ambitious college students from all walks of life. Regardless of the backgrounds that these students come from, they all certainly have one thing in common; the ability to decide.

Each and every student that walks this campus has the ability to decide many things each day. Which shoes to wear, how much effort they put into their homework, how many times they smile, how much they will pay attention during the upcoming lecture…all of which impacts them (even if they don’t know it yet.) These are life lessons that I hope to help coach them in, but these are not the decisions I’m concerned about currently.

One of the biggest decisions that someone can make on a college campus is the decision to speak up and out against what is wrong. If someone is being bullied, every student that passes makes a conscious decision to say stop or ignore it. If someone is being threatened, every student that has knowledge of this makes a conscious decision to get an official involved or to ignore it. If someone is saying they’ve been raped, every student that knows, the victim, the rapist, or anyone else that is made aware makes a conscious decision of speaking out and against this, contacting the police, or to just ignore it.

I bet you’re wondering what the purpose of this is? Allow me to explain. You have been made aware of these allegations. You have been told what has happened between these two. YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO SPEAK OUT AND AGAINST THIS AND PUT A STOP TO IT, or you can continue to ignore it. It is 2015, and it is long overdue that we stand together and put a stop to the rape culture that is present all across the world. You could be them victim one day, your children could be the victim one day…what would you hope the people that are made aware of it do?

So what does this have to with the college students that I get to work with? You have made it very clear that you, your team, and your company Sony Music do not care about the wellbeing of the artists you work with by staying silent. While you haven’t endorsed this behavior, your inability to act has made it apparent that you are not NOT against it. By not supporting your artists in this time of crisis, you are making it very difficult for my artists to come forward. You have shown the amazing humans that I work with what happens when you build up enough courage to speak out. You have shown my people that sometimes, like with Kesha, making the decision to speak up is sometimes even more challenging than the assault itself.

I ask that you please take a stand and do something and show the world that sexual assault and rape will not be tolerated. Until you do so, you are sending a message as bright as the sun that we will continue to accept this behavior. The next time a student of mine comes to me and confides in me a sexual assault or rape, I will keep you all in the back of my head. Not because I admire the action you’ve taken, but so I can remember exactly how not to handle the situation. Until you take a stand, I believe in the message that #SonyMusicSupportsRape

I'm Sorry

To the parent/guardian that just happened to find me in my office two hours after I was off work, 

I first and foremost want to apologize to you. I'm sorry that you have had to face many challenges raising the man sitting next to you because he has been diabetic his whole life. I know that must be frustrating at times, especially on days like today. I'm sorry that your son told you inaccurate information, and contrary to his belief, I'm not just a rule enforcer. If I could, I would have shed some light onto the situation and let you know what exactly he and his roommates were in trouble for, as it was much more than just having a full size appliance. What your son failed to mention is the week prior to me finding multiple policy violations in your sons room, he was sitting in the exact same chair you are. The course of the conversation ran a little different though. You see, your son is failing at least one of his classes, and as a job duty I had to meet with him. I admit, my speech was probably a bit dull when he heard it, as I had said it to about 20 other students sitting in that chair too. When I met with your son, I knew he was different. I'm not referring to him being diabetic, but I am talking about his lack of enthusiasm and drive. I now want to apologize to your son.

I'm sorry that you've been burdened with being diabetic. I know growing up it was probably difficult to explain to the other children in your class why you got to eat during extra times, why you may have had to go see the nurse more frequently, and why they might not have understood. I'm sorry that you grew up to be an athlete that probably got away with a little bit more than the average high schooler, because you generated the school money by being on their team. I'm sorry that you've now been in my office twice, and still don't really understand what it is I do, and why I'm meeting with you. I'm sorry that you don't see it now, but I care about you. I want you to live a healthy life, even if I took your toaster. I want you to go on after college and play sports professionally and make a gazillion dollars and provide for your family. I want you to understand that your actions today can impact and determine your tomorrow. I'm sorry that you don't understand this. Which leads me to apologizing to myself. 

Alex, I'm sorry that you can't get through this student. It's not your fault by any means. I'm sorry that when you found a large number of policy violations in this student's room, you were more upset than he was. I'm sorry that this parent/guardian who is critiquing and criticizing the thing you've put your heart and soul into is commenting on your "gay shirt" because they are frustrated you don't make policies. I'm sorry that you feel like you are the one with the problem. I'm sorry that you let this woman destroy the person you are by commenting on your sexual orientation in a negative way. I'm sorry that you let these words of spite make you question how strong of a man you are. 

 To all three people, the mom, the student, and the gay professional... I did not want these conversations to be like this. I did not want you to feel like you're not being heard or helped. I am sorry we have been brought up in a world where our problems can be so easily put onto someone else. But there's one thing I'm not sorry for...I'm not sorry that we came into each other's life. I think there's something that we can all learn. For me, I'm not sure what that lesson is, but I will continue to search for the beauty and love in all things, including the three of you. You're stronger than you know.

The Twenty-Fourth Year

Today I turn twenty-four years old. It’s crazy to look back at this last twenty-four years, but even crazier to look back at the last year within itself. There have been so many ups and downs, speed bumps and fast tracks, laughter and tears. For my birthday this year, I’m giving you all twenty-four things I’ve learned from the people that I love. If you didn’t make the list, it doesn’t mean I haven’t learned something from you, I’m just not realizing the lesson yet. Keep trying, I’m stubborn.

The first on the list is my brother, Patrick, who taught me that sometimes life works out so perfectly that you end up finding your best friend that will be there through it all with you.

The second is my mom LuAnn, who taught me that I should attempt to be more content with things that happen in life. Sometimes it’s okay to just be okay right now.

The third is my Aunt Becky, who taught me to believe in what you believe in, and believe it with your entire heart.

The fourth goes to my cousins Scott and Lindsey, who taught me to instill love into all that are around, young and old.

The fifth is my cousin Jessica, who taught me that it’s okay to stray from the itinerary, and there’s always time for a friendly competition.

The sixth is my cousin Paige, who taught me that every day is a great day to take a leap in fashion.

The seventh goes to one of my closest friends since circa 6^th grade, Trustyn and his partner James. They’ve taught me that I can overcome just about anything with a best friend by my side, and that every day is a perfect day to spread a little sunshine.

The eighth goes to Lia and James, who taught me so many lessons it’s unreal, but most notable is that you can always get the help you need if you simply ask.

The ninth goes to my former advisor Courtney, who taught me to always go the extra degree, to never give up, and to always strive for excellence.

The tenth goes to my friend from planet weird, Keely, who taught me to work hard and play hard…and that you’ll always find adventure if you just open your eyes and look around.

The eleventh goes to my newfound friend Missy, who taught me that it isn’t the quantity of time that you’ve known someone that makes them a good friend, but it’s the quality of the time you’ve spent together. And you can climb a mountain in 30 minutes flat if you have a good enough reason.

The twelfth set of people are my friends Brandon, Cameron, Kenneth, and Lauren, who taught me that through ups and downs, drinks of vodka and drinks of water, friendship never dies.

The thirteenth person is Caleb, who showed me what it means to be a young, professional homosexual in Student Affairs, now I just have to find me an even younger, clueless gay to lead…

The fourteenth set of people I’ve learned something from is Yousef and a wild lady named Momma. They taught me that the limit truly does not exist when it comes to putting love into the world.

The fifteenth bunch of people that have taught me something is Blakely and Alex, who reminded me to always have fun, and that you’ll never live it down being a boss ass bitch during group presentations.

The sixteenth person that I learned something from was Edgar, who taught me to always find the beauty in the world around you, and to never settle for something less than you’re worth.

The seventeenth thing I’ve learned this year comes from the dynamic duo of Dustin and Elise, who taught me what true friendship is…and how to get zooted.

The eighteenth thing I’ve learned comes from Angelia and Jackie, who taught me that good things come to those who wait, you just have to be patient.

The nineteenth thing I’ve learned is from Sheri, who taught me that life is such a great journey, and fairy tales are real.

The twentieth person who taught me something is my girl Make It Raina, who taught me to give thanks to those you love.

The twenty-first person who taught me a valuable lesson is Kasey, who taught me that it’s always a good night for Kesha, glitter, donuts, and standing up for what you believe in.

The twenty-second person that taught me something is Haley, who taught me that opposing views can still equal a similar heart.

The twenty-third thing I’ve learned comes from Brooke, who told me to always be yourself, no matter how whacky, colorful, furry, or weird the world might see you as.

The twenty-fourth thing I’ve learned this year comes from Leo, who taught me that just a few short months together can change your mindset for the better, and that a gay and a straight can be friends…and that he wasn’t a scoob.

These things and people have shaped me for who I am today, but I think there is also a twenty-fifth person I’ve learned from this year; myself. I’ve taught myself this year to love myself, always. To drink all the water I can. To always try to be optimistic. To forget fear, it only holds me back. Live in the moment. Don’t be so hard on myself. Listen. Sometimes making the hardest choice also equals the right choice. Be confident in what I’m doing. See the bigger picture. Have a healthy disregard for the impossible. Believe. Lastly, always be you. The world is a much better place because of it, people don’t like what they don’t understand, and you’ll always have the people mentioned above fighting with you for all that is good in the world.

Alex In Africa - Goodbye Larema (Friend)

This chapter of my journey comes to an end today. There are many emotions surrounding this. I am excited, sad, hopeful....

I am sad to leave the place I've called home for the last 12 days. Uganda is a very special place, and will forever be something I keep with me. The food of Uganda has been something new and exciting for me. Dishes of hand grown vegetables, hand picked fruits, and freshly slaughtered animals with nothing artificial inside has been the food we've been eating each day. I've had a more balanced diet and regular eating times here than ever before. Each day we sat at tables with some of the most incredible people I've ever met. These people, the Sisters, are so selfless. They all lived during times of war and heartache, yet here they sit across from me with a smile on their face and a heart full of happiness and hope. I like to think of things back in America that I've considered troubling or problematic in my own life and realize how absolutely small and not actually troublesome these things are. As you know we did a lot of work in Atiak, and saved the orphanage so much money on labor. The contractor told us that he was going to take the money he saved and donate it to the orphanage to be spent how they saw fit. During our closing meal there, Sister Asunti said this; "Your work this week with Atiak has allowed me to look at myself and know that I can serve more. It has allowed me to remember why I chose to become a Sister. Although we cannot see God, I see God through each of you and the work you've done." Her statement seemed so peculiar to me, as when I think of sacrifice and serving, I think of her and the other Sisters. Yet she considered my journey here a sacrifice and such a service...hearing this from a woman who (just years ago) stood beside and forgave the very people tearing her world apart meant everything and then some to me. If the experiences weren't enough, this sentiment gave this trip and my life so much purpose. 

We were visiting with our driver Geoffrey and just sharing stories as we sat in a circle and I had mentioned the kindness of Uganda, and how I hoped to apply that kindness to my life back in America. He laughed and told us that he's been driving for many years, and while he's run into a lot of people from a lot of places, his favorites are those from Oklahoma. "When I see someone who isn't friendly, I then know they are not from Oklahoma." Throughout the week I've gotten to know Geoffrey fairly well. He has told us that we are the closest he's been with a group, as we've traveled together, worked together, sang together, and sweat together, which is something other groups don't often do. He told us that we have been the first group to do manual labor, and he is very fortunate to have been able to work with us. We were talking about Sister Rosemary's book "Sewing Hope," a new favorite of mine, and I was referring to the kindness of those in Uganda. Inside my copy of the book, Sister Rosemary signed and wrote "kindness is key."  I asked Geoffrey if he had read it. He told us no, he hasn't, because she could only bring so many with her and he wasn't able to receive one. Upon unloading the van of our bags, I gave Geoffrey a few items. Bug spray, because he has never had any that was good "like the American spray." He has severe malaria many times, something that isn't fun to have. A powerful flashlight, because in Uganda the flashlights are never powerful and most of them only work for a few days before they break. Lastly, I gave him my copy of Sewing Hope so that he could read it and feel what I felt when hearing so many stories. He didn't want to take it, but as I told him, "A wise woman once shared with me that kindness is key."

Last night we had the customary friendship cake with the Sisters back at Gulu. We were told we got a friendship cake, and then she said this... "It's not because it's the end, but because it's the beginning of a beautiful friendship." These words were so amazing for me. A friendship across continents and oceans, one that prior to this week was not likely. 

Something that each Sister said in her own way was "safe travels" as well as "tell you brothers and sisters in America of this journey, so that they too can be encouraged to do what they can to help." One Sister even told me, "Helping is not defined by the amount you give or the status of the person you're helping, but it's defined by the fact that you're doing what you can."  As we were saying our goodbyes there were many smiles and some tears. For I knew that while this is the end of this specific journey, it is only the beginning of advocacy for my friends many miles away in the heart of Uganda.

I am so fortunate and thankful of my journey, and hope to someday return. I also hope that if you are reading this you too can have a similar experience, as it is life changing. To those that I've met along the way, I say thank you for your kindness and hospitality. To those who helped get me here, I say thank you for your generosity and love. To my friends both new and old, I say thank you for impacting my life, safe journeys wherever life takes you, and above all; kindness is key.

Alex In Africa - Pt. 6

Our days are numbered here in Uganda, but for the remaining few days we will continue to make the 40 minute drive the Atiak and do work on the orphanage there. We are the first volunteers to come and do manual labor, whereas volunteers in the past have either came for medical work or just came to see around the area. We now take breakfast everyday at 8am, and we must be ready to leave by 8:30am so we can make the drive. If you remember, we originally were going to be building a house. However, there were two trucks with supplies on them, and while one made it safely to Atiak, the other got into a wreck and lost all of the supplies. They said that it's amazing the driver is still alive. Once at Atiak, we started to do tasks like paint windows and lay tile there. Once we complete all of our tasks, we will sit down with the head contractor and calculate the amount of money we worked based on the tasks we completed. Work here in Uganda is not based on the hours you work or even the task itself, but it is based on the amount you (the worker) and the your "boss" (the contractor) agree upon. For example, we are painting the windows and typically that will be approximately 20,000 shillings, but it could be higher or lower depending on the agreement. At that point, if there was no timeline given, you could work as fast or as slow as you wanted.  

I brought enough clothes so that I didn't have to do laundry, but some of the people in my group had to do laundry. The most interesting thing about laundry is that they will try their hardest so men don't have to do it. It is a "woman's" job, and they stick to this. One of the women in our group had to do one of the men's laundry, although he was trying to do it himself. You do laundry by filling up three buckets. The first bucket is the for the initial wash so it contains soap, and you turn your clothes inside out and scrub with your hands on the "dirty" areas, like armpits, neckline, and back. After you scrub well enough (although we've noticed our scrubbing is never good enough,) you wring the clothing out and transport it to the second bucket of soap. You scrub the dirty areas again, but this time you ensure to get the other areas of the clothes. After you scrub well enough in bucket two, you move to bucket three which is just water. You rinse out the soap and then hang your clothes to dry.

Another thing I've found peculiar here is some of the schools teach the children how to cut grass. It would be strange enough if they had lawnmowers, but this is Africa. Instead of lawnmowers they have sharp blades that the swing and cut the grass. The blades have sometimes been bigger than the child, but they still must learn to do it.

I've been playing music while we work at Atiak, and everyone loves the American music. It has been mostly pop divas and they still rock out with us. 

Alex In Africa - Pt. 5

We made it back to Gulu yesterday and enjoyed the remainder of the day. We skipped lunch because we were on the road all day and by the time we got back to the compound the Sisters insisted we took tea to refuel our bodies after such a journey. It is common for the Sisters to watch the news after supper, so we joined them in doing so. 

Today we woke up at our usual 7:30am and heard a local church singing music very loudly. It was wonderful to hear, and we found out later the church was Protestant and they sing all day. We made our way over to the area that we eat with the Sisters. Upon arriving, we heard them having their own small service at which time they too were singing and playing small drums. It was a magical moment, as we all stopped and listened without actually deciding to do that. After a few moments, we went upstairs to have our breakfast. After breakfast, we went over to the other side of the building and watched some more news with a couple of the Sisters. One of them has been working for over a year on a handmade embroidered table cloth with safari animals and different settings. It was so beautiful to see. After the news we went outside of the compound and explored Gulu some more. Upon arriving back at the compound we ended up picking avocados out of a tree with two of our new friends and employees of the school, Sadi and Patrick. They are both going off to school tomorrow, and we will miss them around the compound. After we picked enough avocado to suffice, we ended up picking a few more and throwing them over the large wall to the local children. They absolutely loved it. 

Avocados are much different in Uganda than America, as they are about 3 times the size here. They are huge and they grow in large trees that you must climb and use a long pole to hit out of the tree. After avocado picking, we helped Patrick catch one of the compound's rabbits, as it is protocol to put all of the animals inside of their indoor cage if it will be raining, which it will be tonight. If it rains, we will probably be losing electricity for a while. After we helped catch a rabbit, we started making our way back to the large building that we eat at, and we found two girls, Josephine and Florence. After talking for a few moments, one of them asked what our local names were and we told her we haven't received any. She was completely shocked so she and Josephine gave us all our names. My name here is Ociti, which means leader of a group. She told me that I seemed very fun, and everyone laughed and said it was true. After a small conversation and receiving our names, we made our way to supper and then off to our huts in banana village. It is time for bed now, because we have to get up and start construction on a house at a nearby school in Atiak. Wish me luck!

Alex In Africa - Stupendous Safari pt. 1

We stayed at Paraa Safari, which is the equivalent of an American 5-star resort. The animals roam free around the property. Yesterday we did the water safari, which was an 18 kilometer boat ride to the falls. Today we are doing the safari drive at dusk. Here are pictures and videos of the fun!

Outside of the lodge

Time lapse of the Nile

Elephants